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For mom's who think negatively of throwing big birthday party's for children..

Do you feel that way because you cannot afford to have big parties? Or because you think it is spoiling a child to have a big fuss about them one day a year? Did you have big parties growing up, or were you raised with small, intimate birthdays with just your family and friends?


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Asked by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Apr. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (21)
  • I don't think negatively of lavish birthday parties, but I think they ARE a waste of money! I also think they are more for the PARENTS to show off, than for the child to have a wonderful day.

    My husband and I live quite comfortably financially, and we are able to give our children EVERYTHING they need. So it's not about the money. BUT, we also don;t want to raise children who EXPECT such things, and to have to do things "bigger and better" than their friends or the year before.

    We keep our parties limited to immediate family, but since our boys are winter babies with birthdays within 3 weeks of each other, we have chosen to celebrate their birthdays with a mini family vacation--like skiing, or heading south for some fun in the sun!

    I have a summer birthday, so I spent every birthday at my family's beach house--again, very informal, but among those who I was closest too--which I think is the most important thing!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:17 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • if i could afford to go all out for her one day a year i would. i'm not against them at all. i always had just a little family thing with cake and icecream and mom would make us something special for dinner. it was always special, but i dont remember one birthday party where we went anywhere or did anything too exciting. even my 16th was just sitting at home with my mom and brother watching movies.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 5:19 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • My parents went nuts and spent big bucks on my birthday parties. There were lots of people there and we all were on a sugar high and I got great gifts. I've grown up now and see that it's a waste of money and teaches kids the wrong thing. Giving them a sugar high and inviting people who are not even really their friends just to get material things is just wrong. Now I don't even buy gifts. I give my time to spend with them on their special day doing whatever they want. Funny, they never ask for a party either.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • My kids get parties with their friends, but I don't get having 20, 30 or more people, half of whom you barely know and spending tons of money. We allow them to invite between 5 - 8 friends (actual friends, not every kid in the class) and will give them a couple different options on where their party will be held.

    My 7 yo wants his next party at an arcade and my 11 yo wants another sleep over/camp out with 2 or 3 of his friends. Both of them would have way more fun with that than some big bash. We still make a big fuss, it just doensn't involve half the city.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 5:20 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I think big lavish parties for babies and toddlers is bad becuase it is too much stimulation for little ones. Birthday's should be about the child they're honoring and not about the parents showing off. Doing something huge and big for a baby or toddler is selfish and not putting the child's best interest at heart. The baby/toddler usually gets fussy and worn out at these huge blow outs and doesn't even enjoy his/her own birthday.

    Now for school age kids, big blow outs can be fun as long as you keep it age appropriate and really can afford the expense.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I think it makes birthdays meaningless. When does it become whoring your child out for gifts? I think its greed driven and takes away from the real meaning. And I feel the same way about second and third baby showers too. I am all for parties, once in a while, for landmark celebrations. Oh wait... throw in excessive graduations. High school and college are fine, but parties for kindergarten, 6th grade, & 8th grade graduation are ridiculous. You are supposed to pass those grades, it's not a special achievement!


    Answer by BlooBird at 5:23 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • i do both,,one year big next year small...small to me is like 10-13 kids spend about 50 dollars.big to me is 85-100 people. 250-400 dollars and i could careless what anyone thinks...we have lots of friends and my child is very loved,its my money,child and friends none tells me how to love my kid...thats totally up to my husband and i. he picks the theme,gifts candy, games so how is that for me?? i had bday parties and im possitive they were for parents were just happy with seeing me and my brother smile.

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 5:24 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • My parents made a big fuss for my birthday, but I was the kind of child who didn't like the attention, but enjoyed each party given. When I had kids of my own, I had two girls who were 12 months apart, and one was born in Sept and the other one in Nov. so I would give them big bash in October and we would make it a custome party, everyone came dress up as a character, and I would wear a police costume, with rubber stick whistle and hand cuffs, to handle about 50 or 60 kids at once. I would have fairess wheels, bump cars cotton candy machines, and a mini star, and also a jump house, had to keep those kids busy. My daughters have great memories, it was like a mini fair at home, and I thoroughly enjoyed every one of them, we had them for 7 years straight, then my father died, and some of my joy died with him.
    I defenitely do not think that what I did was spoiling my daughters, I could afford to give them a memory that cont..

    Answer by older at 5:24 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • This question isn't for me, but I'll add my thoughts. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE throwing huge parties for my DD. I only have one, and I honestly do go all out. We have a HUGE family, and I love having them all over and making a big dinner, with lots of fun stuff to do. We ALWAYS tell everyone not to bring gifts, that is not what the party is about. We just want to see everyone. I buy my DD gifts, as do her aunts, uncles and grandparents, and we always have a little party with all of them, that is more personal and calm. But we always have the big huge party where all of the family can come, run around, play in a bounce house, or ride ponies, or swim, or whatever we're doing that year. I never had a birthday party growing up, and I never felt that my day was any more special than any other day of the year, and I NEVER want my DD to feel that. She doesn't expect anything, and we all enjoy ourselves. It works for us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • Lame excuse for being cheap...since when do kids not like openning gifts? do you not buy for xmas then??? thats dumb...must be the same cheap people that dont believe in taking gifts to birthdays.If you cant afford it then say it...don't lie..shoot i can't afford it every year and i only got one kid..

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 5:28 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

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