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Moms, would you go to your man's exgirlfriend cookout/birthday?

My little sister age 29 is going to a cookout with her boyfriend, but get this, it is his ex-girfriends cookout. His daughter's birthday is Saturday, and he want my sister to go. I told her not to because it will be sort of uncomfortable. I also feel that he should not have asked my sister to do something like this. Was I wrong? Should I just stay out of it? I would never want to go to a party hosted by my boyfriend's ex. Help me out moms on this one.

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ambr2006

Asked by ambr2006 at 8:40 PM on Apr. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,881 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • if he has a child with her, yes he should go & so should she. my parents are both remarried, and all four of them come to my parties and family functions. my mom even comes over & eats dinner at my dads house with me my son my dad and my stepmom. its good for the kids for everybody to get along and be friends. it makes them feel good.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 8:42 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • If he and his ex have a child together and the barbque is to celebrate the childs birthday I dont see the problem, I think its nice he asked her to go he could just go himself it seems like he wants her to be involved in his childs life. Now if there was no child involved that would be a whole other story.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 8:43 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • If the two can get along...then it may be worth it in the long run.As long as your sister and the ex gfriend are comfortable with it, I don't see why not. I would be more worried if HE was going and told your sister she couldn't go.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:44 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I wouldn't want to. To be honest, I don't think girlfriends (I'm not sure if that is what your sister is) need to be around ex's even if the boyfriend has a child with the ex. In my opinion it would be awkward enough being the guy's wife and having to be around the ex. I have just never agreed with girlfriends or boyfriends being around the child had with an ex. It kind of screams inappropriate.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • If they have a child together, then yes - he should go and so should she. Also, if it was a childhood/family friend that he just happened to date for a while I wouldn't have a problem with it either. Personally, I am so not worried about any of my husband's exes that I wouldn't have a problem going to a cookout hosted by any of them - the way I see it, there is a reason they are "exes" and I am not.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:46 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • It depends on what you mean by boyfriend. If he is her live in lover and she has a relationship with his child then of course she should go, she is filling the role of his wife. If she is just dating the guy then it should be up to her. It's very nice she was invited. I think she should go to check the family out and see if she wants to run from the whole relationship.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 8:46 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • If its due to the daughters birthday, I would say yes. I don't see anything wrong as long as they can get along.
    shamillionaire

    Answer by shamillionaire at 8:46 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • It depends on what you mean by boyfriend. If he is her live in lover and she has a relationship with his child then of course she should go, she is filling the role of his wife. If she is just dating the guy then it should be up to her. It's very nice she was invited. I think she should go to check the family out and see if she wants to run from the whole relationship.

    Um no, wife and live in girlfriend are two different people.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • Well yeah. I wouldn't let him go without me!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:48 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I forgot to mention that his daughter and my sister is not close at all, and she blames my sister for her dad being so strict on her. His daughter is 21, and she does not work, and he pays her car note sometimes, but here lately he refuses to pay it, and told her to get a job, and she feels my sister is in his ear, but my sister is not, she rather stay out of it. I just feel that it will be a lot of tension at this cookout.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 8:51 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

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