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how long should i wait for him to propose?

we have been together for 4 long years, have been living together for 3. he takes care of my 6 yr old from a previous relationship and we have a 2 year old together. we always talk about the future, just yesterday he asked if i could imagine what we will look like as an old couple, im 26 he is only 23 though an i know that is a reason he hasnt yet, he is a little nervous to get married young, but i say we already pretend to be so why not make it official. he takes care of the family, and i take care of the home, i also work part time to pay for the small things. but its been 4 years in June and all i have heard is that he hopes to marry me soon, but nothing other than that. i want to be engaged a little while before we marry so that i may have a nice wedding, but i dont want to plan for a wedding that may not come....what to do he already knows im ready, so how long do i wait for him?? i dont wanna press the issue! NO BASHING

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Apr. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • If you stop thinking and wishing for it, it'll happen lol!! I know it's hard, but it's like one of those things as soon as you stop looking for it to happen, he'll all of the sudden propose.

    At least that's how it happened for me...

    Answer by kaylan010 at 10:03 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • men take their time thats for sure! it took 5 years for my fiance to propose, and now he doesnt want to set a date. if you dont plan on leaving, then i say just wait. he will do it when he is ready. all it is is a piece of paper anyway. but maybe drop some subtle hints.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 10:04 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • when ever he feels ready, he'll go and pop the question. until then your gonna hve to wait, try to talk about to much, cause then he may end up doing it to shut you up, not cause he ready and cant wait to be your husband.

    Answer by yamil519 at 10:11 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • If he didn't marry you would you leave the relationship? Does marriage provide something for your family that you don't currently have? Do you need the legal protection of marriage? Men think logically.

    Answer by ecodani at 10:15 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I never waited. I told my x that we were getting married then started the planning. If you really feel it is necessary for him to ask you at least ask about his timeline. Just ask him where marriage fits in his timeline.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:49 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?? You sleep with him and you gave him a child already. Why would he want to marry you? there is no incentive to do so. Those women who tell you they don't need a piece of paper are the women who couldn't get any man to marry them :o(

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Does he know you intend to have a long engagement? He may not be ready yet, and when an engagment becomes official it could seem like everything is coming on very fast and that could cause problems in the relationship. If you already live together, have a family and are happy in your relationship then you should wait for him to be ready. You can occasionally drop hints, or if he insists on talking about a future with you let him know that it frustrates you when he talks about a future that involves marriage but doesn't propose. A friend of my cousin's was with her fiance for 3 years before he even told her he loved her - they were together for 7 years before they got engaged. I've also got a friend who eloped with his wife just a week after they met and they've been married for 6 years and are now expecting their first child. Men are complicated creatures.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • If he wanted to marry you, he would have asked. It is way more than "just a piece of paper" which is why so many people are scared to do it. How long to wait is up to you, but really, he has no reason to feel like he has to marry you because you're already "pretending" to be married, as you said.

    Answer by Pnukey at 4:19 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • If you want to be married to him, ask him when you two are going to get married. Sence you have been living together for YEARS. Stop waiting for him to do it.

    Answer by louise2 at 6:03 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Patti Stanger the millionaire matchmaker says if he doesn't purpose after a year, dump him and move on. Hmmmm

    Answer by voni681 at 9:26 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

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