Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how much is life different having a second child?

My son is over one year of age now. We are considering an option of having another kid - a sister or brother to him. Can anyone honestly tell us how much different our lifes could be? For now it already seems we are running out of time for anything. Having a second child would be a paradox on a way of help arranging our duties or maybe not? Any experience alike?

Answer Question
 
BabySon1

Asked by BabySon1 at 10:21 PM on Apr. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • It changes alot, but depending on your perspective...it's for the good. My boys are 8 yrs apart though. So I have a little help at times. I always wanted to have mine closer together. Life had other plans though. My brother and I are only 1 1/2 yrs apart and we were alway sooo close growing up.
    rlhall1980

    Answer by rlhall1980 at 10:28 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • i dont i have one but me and my husband WAS thinking about having another, so i ask my mom. she said everything you do now you'll be doing twice and at the same time. is it life changing YES. you have two feed two, bath two, sleep two, dress two, play with two, pay attention to two, buy for two. ( well really 3 cause our husband somtimes is like another child we have to take care of lol.) it's alot more harder then just having one. After she told me this we plan to have our secound when my son truns 5, he'll be more independent and it wont be AS hard has having two BABIES!. if your going through a rough time now, i think you guys should wait.
    yamil519

    Answer by yamil519 at 10:33 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • Mine are 22 months apart (now 1 yr and almost 3 yrs), and it really wasn't/isn't that bad. My first took to his sister right away, and he was still young enough that we didn't really have any jealousy issues, and he'll never really remember not having his sister around. He'd just grown out of needing me to do everything for him, so he was independent enough that I could still take care of the baby but I was still used to taking care of him so it wasn't such an adjustment to have to do everything for a newborn. It took a few weeks to get into a routine that worked with two, but after that it was fine.

    Emotionally...it was a little harder. My son was my world, and I honestly resented my daughter a bit at first for taking away from my time with him. But I got over it, and now I wouldn't trade her for anything, and I love her just as much as I do my son. It's all worth it in the end. :)
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 10:37 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I have the same question! One baby is soooo easy. Id love to have another one so they are close- but my husbands works alot & the idea of have TWO to get dressed before we leave, having to take TWO grocery shopping. Having to take TWO into a restaurant. It just seems sooooo much harder. So Ill be waiting aawhile!
    pinkcicle709

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 10:42 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • Our lives changed completely. They dynamic in the house is totally different. I have a 10 and almost 6 year old though. The long difference in age was not planned but I like it,they don't. They still fight and a lot. I think that there was a feeling of completeness having two.
    momthruivf

    Answer by momthruivf at 10:47 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • you'll never be on time for anything... ever again. hahaha! doesn't matter if you have 1 or 10... they will be the best of friends, and the worst of enemies... they'll learn how to gang up on you, but its twice as much love! i loooove being a mom to 2... and now i'm going to have 3. oi. it's no more tough than one... except you'll be playing one on one... i'm playing zone. (single mom)... it really is amazing, and definitely worth it.
    gracefulsky

    Answer by gracefulsky at 10:47 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I was told after we had our first baby, "You dont know what parenting IS until you have more than 1." I thought she was just mean. But I do understand what she means. I now have 4 and I tell you, I have organized chaos. Its the best I can hope for LOL

    Would I change it? Just stick with 1?....NOPE!
    4xsthetrouble

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 10:49 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • I loved being a mum to my first child. He was a happy easy baby boy, and everything was so easy. We had our 2nd son 2 years later and he was a terrible sleeper and eater. He screamed non stop, and my husband and I had a really exhausting 3 years with him. He is still really full on, and has only just started sleeping through the night. He is 6 now. My eldest son is still easy going and relaxed. So I guess it just comes down to the luck of the draw of what type of person you will get. I know it sounds crazy, but we went for the 3rd, and got a lovely easy baby girl. She has actually brought some peace into our family, and my 2nd son just adores her, she has helped calm him down.
    dayle7

    Answer by dayle7 at 11:14 PM on Apr. 22, 2010

  • It changes a lot, of course it does. Our first baby wasn't an easy one, though (colicky, then strong-willed, but great because of her firecracker personality), so it actually wasn't as tough as we thought to change from one to two, because our little one WAS an easy baby. Now we have a 1.5 and 3 year-old, though, and caring for one child alone, no matter how difficult a case, sounds like a piece of cake! But it ebbs and flows... there are some age combinations that are easy, and then a month later things will feel impossible, then back to easy... But I would say this: take a trip now. It's things like that start to sound not doable for a little while. Because you can take one baby just about anywhere... but a baby and a toddler... well, for awhile it may be more trouble than it's worth. I love having two, though, can't even imagine life without my little one...
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 9:41 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.