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I have 3 kids all adults all at home

my daughter wants her brothers to like her boyfriend,they don't, she wants them to include her and him in things they do.she has just started seeing a psychiatrist can't sleep depressed ocd possiable bipolar. her dad i believe is bipolar and crankey most of the time.i am stuck in the middle.i can't force people to like her boyfriend or include her. any ideas?I would like to see them all do things also.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:09 AM on Apr. 23, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (10)
  • You need to sit down with your sons and talk to them. Give them the situation and they need to help their sister get through this. Being around others will help her. She won't be depressed.
    LavenderRose10

    Answer by LavenderRose10 at 2:53 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I agree, her brothers certainly have the right to dislike him, but they should treat him respectably unless he is a threat to her. It sounds like she's in a fairly fragile state right now and does need their support. Mental issues of any kind are not fun to deal with, especially depression. Hopefully with seeing a psych she can get the help she needs and in time things will resolve themselves.
    NanaR46
    NanaR46

    Answer by NanaR46 at 4:14 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • You can't make anyone like her bf. Maybe they get bad vibes from him and he's really a total douche.
    SinaiJ

    Answer by SinaiJ at 4:29 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • First you have to find out why your boys don't like her boyfriend. if it's just a silly reason you have to try to make them understand that their sister likes to be included in things with them if not all of the time just hang with her some of thetime. if it's a serious reason. then you have to talk to your daughter and say that her brothers have the right to not like this guy she is seeing because of ..... tell her the reason.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 8:28 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • You need to emphasize the need to get along, although you cannot force anyone to like someone they can be civil to them, specially when they are living together. Also emphasize how their help is needed to help out your daughter, and do ask why of the dislike.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:35 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I won't allow my adult children to live with me. I'm not bashing. I'm just saying if they are adults they need to be out on their own. That keeps you out of the middle of their drama
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:56 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I think you just want everyone to be happy.They have to work it out for themselves.You can't do it for them.Just try to stay out of the middle of it to keep your self sane.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:31 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Too bad. Not everybody is going to play nice. Your sons do not exist to play activites coordinator for your daughter. She needs her own friends. Maybe it is time for at least one of them to move out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • i feel as though they should support the sisters problem; and get some one on one alone time with each of her brothers efforts, to see who can get to the route of her problems first. See if one brother connects with her better, to become someone she can run too. 2nd the mother needs to talk and ask why they don't care for the new boyfriend or is it more personal towards their sister to handle a relationship in this tough time she is going through? You don't say their ages, and they may be threatened if the boyfriend has more to offer the home too? yes she should seek proffess. help but careful medication has alot of side effects if with bi-polar and may end up on more than one meds and be worse off than she started... Needs to be more family activities and some quiet times to get to the source of her problems.. How did her brothers treat her growing up etc. effects you as a woman... the only girl must be hard.
    ladytrose

    Answer by ladytrose at 9:11 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • We've gone through this situation with daughter's boyfriends and her brothers. I don't know what the reason is exactly except for the protective role that they feel.
    But what seemed to make things better was when my daughter stopped trying to get them to include them in their activities. They instead did things with other friends or just the two of them. Pretty soon her brothers started including them in their plans.
    Regarding her health, She should see her family doctor and have them check her thyroid. Her depression, crankiness may be due to hypo/hyperthyroidism. It is a common disorder that can be dealt with medication.
    WinterDaisey

    Answer by WinterDaisey at 1:44 PM on May. 27, 2010

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