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Technically you could say I'm getting my 'own medicine" yet I don't feel like I deserve it..

Honestly, when do any of us feel that way? ;) But in truth it's this way in a nutshell, hubby cheated on me for a month with 4 women. I loved him enough to try to forgive & yes have insecurities since then & often he gets grilled I will admit by me saying "well, this doesn't make sense" or "I want to believe you, but sometimes I'm to scared & due to our past I doubt you" well tonight we were talking about my friends & a subject totally not even involving us, he deceides to make a point and comes at me with "I don't know if I believe you, I wasn't there" etc. after awhile I realized he was throwing anything I've said based off my insecurities to him in the past. I shouldn't play victim, but don't know whether it's a sign to be angry for him being so unfair or that maybe I've been to harsh on him. To put it in a nutshell it's been hard to get over 'cause he does the whole "I'm sry, I understand u, I would dout too if I was ...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:07 AM on Apr. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • .......cheated on...etc" and "I understand it'll take time to heal and trust me again"...then the next fight we have he'll say something like "I'm GLAD I cheated on you, I had 4 wet ******* and you were still waiting for me like a stupid girl in love". and "yeah I cheated, but i still got you nice and pregnant" (and does the whole thrusting the hips like he's doing me right here and so proud of his accomplishments. He throws in my face that I've had a "year" to forgive him and gets mad if I verbally don't say "I trust you ONE HUNDRED percent".....so I try to point out that since it's been a cycle of I'm sorry and I'm glad I cheated, I understand and then I don't care...that it's hurt and damaged the whole thing even more and caused it harder to get over...he doens't get it..,,, How can I make him understand me? Or want to? It's just this cycle, me crying over whats been done, I still feel hurt, it feels like he was never sry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Whoa....four women??? And he's still acting like this with you? Honey, ihe was the one in the wrong, not you! But if you really want this marriage to stand any chance at all, I would definitely suggest a GOOD marriage counselor. It doesn't sound like the two of you are able to do this on your own, and the longer these feelings of back 'n forth continue, the more your love will turn to hate. I believe in trying to save a marriage, especially if a child is involved, but if you can't trust him you don't want your child raised in that atmosphere either. I'm so sorry you have to go through this....it sounds like you have some hard decisions to make....with or without him........NanaR46
    NanaR46

    Answer by NanaR46 at 3:59 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • So he cheated on you with FOUR women in ONE month? Hell... He deserves a lot worse than a guilt trip....
    SinaiJ

    Answer by SinaiJ at 4:24 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I am going to be blunt because it seems like that is what you need right now. If he can stand there and mock you and tell you how nice it was to have 4 wet whatevers then he doesn't love you. He is playing a guilt trip on you every time he says sorry. He is playing you for a fool and you are acting like one by staying with such a jerk. He throws it in your face how you were there waiting for him knowing he had 4 other woman and knowing even though he says those hateful and hurtful things you still won't leave him. He is verbally and mentally abusing you hun and you need to get out of that relationship. It is unhealthy for you and your child who no doubt hears the way dad speaks to you. It is disrespectful and will teach your child that it is ok to direspect and walk all over you.
    StevensWife

    Answer by StevensWife at 5:24 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • It sounds to me like he is trying to make you feel like it is your fault he did it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:41 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • This is probably not what you want to hear, but your husband is being an ass! And just so you know, when he does things like throw it in your face that he was with four other people and you sat around like "stupid girl in love" he is not only being an ass, but a verbally abusive ass.
    Tell him to go to hell, that you deserve better than some little punk that thinks he is bad. Then get yourself and your children out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • You do NOT deserve to be treated like that or talked to like that! I agree with the others that your husband is being an insensitive, verbally abusive ass who is trying to turn HIS cheating around and make it your fault and make you feel the guilt and blame. I would tell him point blank that HE is the one who cheated and don't you DARE try to turn it back on me and talk to me like that!!! You have 2 choices, you can suggest marriage counseling and try to put the marriage back together (although he probably will refuse to do that) or you can kick his ass to the curb. I'd think long and hard about it, as I don't know if he will ever change and stop trying to throw this back up at you and hurt you with his comments.
    Honestly if it were me I'd kick his ass to the curb. Whatever you decide, I wish you good luck and hope it all works out!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 8:40 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • He obviously feels like you'll never leave him and he can treat you like this. He certainly not showing you respect, not now not with the four women. That lack of respect would bother me more than the women.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Personally anyone that throws it in your face like that is NOT sorry I would not stay with him!
    IamATeenMom307

    Answer by IamATeenMom307 at 9:48 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I guess he'll get a taste of his own medicine in STD form. He is a jackass! Wow!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

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