Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do i thank someone who EXPECTS you to get on your knees to thank them?

A friend of mine volunteered to do my bachelorette party. I groaned from the get go, because this persn ALWAYS seems that I underapprecieate everything she does for me. I'm just not the kind of person who gets on my hands & knees to thank someone. I am a simple thank-you-er. I say "thank you very much for doing this for me" & thats it. I do have a gift fo her...and a nice one at that. But, i wake up this morning to find n email saing "I hope you appreciate everyone who has put this together for you" Isn't that a bit off putting? When i do things for people, i don't expect anything in return. Anyhow, she is getting under my skin & i fear that my gift won't suffice. And i really don't feel like having to get my water works flowing to thank her, that is just not me...but that is kind of what she expects. What is the best way to thank this expecting person, & when should i do it?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:46 AM on Apr. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Say thank you and give her the gift. if she cant accept it because its not good enough then she doesnt sound like a good friend to me. gl

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 7:28 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • id email you back and say i do thank you every much! then when you see her, give her the gift and say thank you again. if she starts talking smack id say, you know what your the one who is acting ungrateful. i said thank you twice and i got you a gift. what more do you expect me to get down on my knees and praise you! well its not going to happen so get over it. then you walk away and be down with her. the sonner you stick up to people like that the better. yeah they will talk about you for a bit but then they see that they cant walk all over you

    Answer by jamiethornton26 at 7:42 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Bump above - Say thankyou in your own way. When she makes it known it wasn't the thanks she was expecting ( and you know she will) ask her " how do you gauge how much thanks is appropriate for this, I said thank you and I meant it. Was there something more I'm supposed to do?" She will be offended but you know what, someone like this is just baggage that weighs you down. She might be lovely , but if your personality isn't 'enough' for her, you will either spend the next 20 years trying to please her, or trying to avoid her. She is a matrye - (see- I did all this work for you, so I can feel good about me) Call her on her own game and see which direction she takes it will be a true test of whether she is a friend or someone who likes the organiser spotlight

    Answer by myheartx4 at 8:06 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • OP here;

    - (see- I did all this work for you, so I can feel good about me)

    LOL, that is the truth, that is exactly what she thinks. She is agreat person sometimes & has been there for me when i really needed someone. But she is also so insecure about herself, that i think she NEEDS that praise to feel good. It's kind of sad really.

    Thank you ladies for your great answers!!! You were a lot of help!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Just write back, " I do" and keep the gift if it bothers you. She just wants acknowledgment. It's all good.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:41 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Here's what you do: Tell her thank you and give her the gift you bought for her. If that's not enough for her, tell her to F**K OFF!! She's not doing these things out of the kindness of her heart, she's doing it for the notoriety and attention.

    Answer by offrdngal at 8:56 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Put it in writing so she can re-read it any time she is feeling insecure.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • That's kinda like fishing for compliments, huh? Her pointing out how much trouble she's going thru for you so you will hopefully nominate her for sainthood? Kinda seems to me that the fact that she's asking for recognition negates anything nice she's doing, but that's JMHO.

    Answer by charliebean at 12:58 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.