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why doesn't my dd like her dad?

Ever since my dd was in the womb she showed signs of not liking her dad.he would touch my belly talk to her,rub my belly,sing to her,kiss my belly etc.and when he would do these things she would go crazy in my tummy and kick or hit him.she is 6 months now and wont even let my dh hold her at all,not even for 2 seconds,not even with me next to her.she just screams her head off till i take her.and as soon as i take her she stops.its not just my husband either she does it to everyone.she wont let anyone hold her but me.she will coo smile and laugh at everyone but if they try holding her she freaks out.what can i do?does anyone else have this problem?i love my daughter dearly but i cant even put her down to go to the bathroom,cook meals,do dishes,house chores,take a shower etc. i have a sling that i put her in and she stays in that all the time so i can get stuff done and its taking a tole on my back.more to follow


Asked by BUDDHASBABY1 at 11:49 AM on Apr. 23, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (9)
  • After all the family visits were over and it was just us, if I needed to do something I just handed my daughter to my husband and left the room and did what I needed to do. I breastfeed, so I would usually make sure she was fed before I handed him over. If she cried then too bad. He had to deal. A lot of times she would cry and I would come in, check her diaper and sure enough she was wet. Eventually she didn't mind him and he would check and change her diaper and now she's totally fine with him. She was about two months old when we started this. But really your husband is just going to have to buck up and deal with it or else it's going to be a long time. He could try reading a story to her, singing to her, taking her for a walk in the stroller. A crying baby is much less loud when you're not inside.

    Answer by Christina807 at 12:14 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • i cant let her cry cause her brother starts to yell at her and my husband gets upset picks her up and hands her to me.

    Answer by BUDDHASBABY1 at 11:49 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • i do make sure she is fed before i hand her off and i do walk out and let her cry with her daddy once in awhile, i even lock the bathroom door but then my husband comes in and follows me where ever i go if she is screaming.i will tell him to read her a book and see if that works.thanks

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • He needs to just relax. My stepmom gets really nervous about holding my daughter and my daughter will only let her hold her for about ten minutes or so before she's crying. My mom and my MIL, both of whom don't care if she cries (not that they don't care, but they don't worry about it and it doesn't stress them out), can hold her for a decent amount of time before she starts to cry. And we don't live near any of our family, so it isn't like she is more used to one grandma over the other. Your daughter is probably sensing his nervousness, anxiety, frustration, etc. and that is just making it worse. It may just be that she'll cry for him until she is a bit older. Unfortunately for you. :( Plus right now is when they start the separation anxiety so it may be a little harder right now anyway.

    Answer by Christina807 at 2:01 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • In year one, MANY babies don't like dad. He's a big hairy scary creature with a booming voice who is definitely Not The Momma. She's not at all unusual, and he doesn't need to feel bad about this.

    As she becomes mobile and figures out that he's NOT going to eat her, she will open up to him. And then soon enough it will be All Dad All The Time...and I do mean ALL THE the extent that he wants these days to come back just a little so he can at least get a potty break.

    Tell dad relax. It's all normal.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:23 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • a big hairy scary funny!
    my dd was like that with her daddy too....not quite to the extent you're describing but it was still pretty bad....i had to carry her around in a sling a lot of the time too!!! took it personally (still he always felt like she just hated him.....she's 8 now and is still pretty much a momma's girl but at least daddy isn't such a "villian" in will get better

    Answer by bigblueeyes at 4:32 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • yeah don't be afraid to let her a cry a should be able to go potty and cook a quick meal or whatever! especially with others in the house..I think if you give her enough time she will get over it..the best way is to leave though cause if she sees you that makes it worse and of course your mommy instincts kick in and you want to take her..but have daddy try walking outside and walk something to distract her. It's not torture doing this..that is her dad after all. Hopefully she gets out of this stage soon..because when older it may be used more of an attention thing where now she justs wants mama!! :) Good lucky girly.

    Answer by willywonka86 at 4:52 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Hi All, I totally agree w/Christina807.. Babies can tell by touch even before they are born.. Just like animals do.. Separating yourself from her at sorted times is good.. She can feel the tension w/her dad.. This scares her b/c it doesn't feel the same as yours.. Hope it works out for you all.. Take Care, Donna....

    Answer by dobrd at 7:38 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • My DD didn't like her dad until she was about three. It broke his heart. At 1 1/2, I asked her if she liked mommy. She nodded her head yes. I asked her if she liked daddy, and she shook her head no. One time she said, "mommy good, daddy bad". He started taking her to do things, just the two of them, so I could have more study time (I am a nursing student). She became his fishing buddy. It took a few years, but she loves her dad like crazy now. Hang in there! I agree that he needs to just put on his big boy pants and deal with it when she cries. He needs to back you up when you try to walk to another part of the house to get something done.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 7:50 PM on Apr. 23, 2010