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Does it bother you when People without kids give advice?

I have this cousin (well my cousin's wife) and we are facebook friends. I will post a funny status talking about something I am doing and it usually involves all my work as a SAHM. Twice now she has chimed in (very nicely. She is very kind and giving) with her opinions on things. Like last night I posted that I hope someday my 13 yr old DD appreciates me standing at the kitchen sink at 10pm scrubbing mud out of her Vans shoes with a toothbrush. She responded "um...why are you doing it? I explained that my DD had tried to get it out before and had to go to bed and so she was deferring to my cleaning wisdom. Not to mention I paid a lot of $ for those shoes and I want them to look as nice as she does! lol
It just bugs me that she keeps responding in a way that she seems to think she knows a better way to parent when she has no kids.
Does that bug you?

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SoniaL

Asked by SoniaL at 11:54 AM on Apr. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,184 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Yes! I know they mean well, but a person really cannot know what it's really like to be a parent until they have been one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • It doesn't really bother me...it PISSES me off. lol. I can't stand when people who don't have kids, think they know more about not only taking care of any kids, but taking care of MY kids than I do as their mother. Drives me crazy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Yes!! Everyone thinks they know how they would handle something, but you never really know till it happens to you! I find my self doing things all the time Ithat I never would have thought I would do. I just say "thanks" for the advice and in my head I'm thinking "I can't wait till you have kids!!"
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:00 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • yes, not only does that bother me ....but when a person who has kids, but doesnt care of them giving adivce is worse !

    My BIL has 2 kids with a woman who lost the kids at birth because she was on drugs ( both of them born addicted) ..... anyways she sometimes is around when we are at MILs her and BIL are still "friends" ( neither of them has the kids, MIL has raised them) ........anyways when my kids were smaller and we were there she would constantly tell me how to do this and shouldnt do that....I felt like screaming at her " I know how to do it, I take care of my kids !!"
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 12:17 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Every time. I've taken to saying "when you have kids you'll find it's not so easy to have the right answers all the time". I get so tired of people telling us what to do that I don't care if that sounds rude.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:20 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • For me it depends, I have some friends without kids that will give good advice. But the advice I can't stand is when they are like "I would never do that if I had kids" that drives me up a wall!!! I would just start ignoring her comments, it sounds like she could be one of those people who thinks they know everything about kids without having them. When people without kids give me rude or unwated advice I just say :well when you have kids you can do that then"
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 12:53 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I hate it more when people who have children and pawn them off on family and friends and try and say oh I know how it is when you need a break or you should do this and then I'll say you thanks by the way wheres your kid(these convos are normally with my cousin) and she'll say oh at your aunts house(which BTW would probably be the 3 or 4th day she's there)
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 1:42 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • HELL YES! How can someone who doesn't even have children POSSIBLY know what they are talking about???
    Allow me to recount an experience of mine. When my daughter Amber was going on 2, she had a total meltdown
    at the store because I told her no candy. I was trying to get her to quiet down, but sometimes the best thing to do
    is just ignore it, and they'll stop. Well these two ladies in line behind me were talking and then I heard one say to
    the other, "my child would never act like that." I turned around and smiled at her and asked, "do you have children?"
    she said, no. I told her, well then you have no right to say anything at all about my child. When you become a parent
    then and only then do you earn the right to say something to another parent, not before. She turns to her friend and
    says, well...I cut her off. Well nobody fucking asked you. mind your own business next time, bitch. Needless to say,
    she switched lanes. haha!
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 2:02 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • However, if someone is raising a child, niece, nephew, bro, sis, whatever, even if it is not their child, that sort of makes them a parent. You know what I mean? Just because they didn't give birth to the child, if they are raising the child, that makes them a parental figure. I don't mind getting advice from people like that.
    But cranky old ass ladies bitching me out in the store because she doesn't like how my kid is acting are going to get told off, possibly with my foot in their ass.
    Old men for that matter too.
    Or people in general who don't have kids and think everyone else's kids are brats. Those kind of people can fuck off.
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 2:05 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Oh yes, but it isn't just the non-parents that annoy me, it is also other parents! I know they all mean well, but until you have personally parented a child like mine, one who has significant special healthcare needs, don't even go there, kwim?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

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