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ok, let me rephrase the question...

I recently asked a question (my dad's too much of a push over) and most of the responses were about my sister wrecking my car and insurance. The question was "What can I tell my dad so he's not so much of a push-over?" He lets my 16 year old sister do almost anything she wants. You see, when she was little up until now, she's kinda been labeled as a thief. But it's not without cause. She would steal my clothes, even my bras and underwear and wear them and cut them up. (This was only like a few months ago by the way) he would always take up for her too. "Well maybe she didn't know they were yours" well, they weren't hers! Anyway, now he lets her do pretty much anything she wants. she can spend the weekend at a guy's house, drive my car around, and sometimes she just takes off without telling him. Yet she never gets in trouble. Sure he'll talk to her about it, but it never does any do I tell my dad to be stricter?

Answer Question

Asked by AirForceWife14 at 12:14 PM on Apr. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You can tell him but it's probably too late. She'll do what she wants anyway and eventually someone (him) will pick up the tab for her mistakes. Tell him, she cannot learn if she has no boundaries. Teens need structure the most. He's doing her a disservice by not parenting more effectively. In life, she'll always struggle because things should always be her way, she's entitled, etc. It's a nasty habit and even she'll be sorry if she's not equipped to deal with life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • In my experience, DH has a sister a lot like you're describing, if the parents don't see the bad behavior for what it is, they likely won't until they get into legal trouble or something horrible happens that can't be undone. That said, you might point out that since she is living with him (I assume) he is responsible for her and any trouble she gets into.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • So are you living with them? You can't tell someone else how to parent. PERIOD. Would you listen to someone when they told you that you are not being a good parent? It sucks that she's being spoiled but it shouldn't really affect you... right? If you are living with them, Lock your car doors - get a lock on your room..

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I don't live with them anymore. And when I did, I DID lock my room. She would get a butter knife and break in.

    Answer by AirForceWife14 at 12:32 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • You can tell him anything you want but it won't help. Do you like your parents telling you what to do? He certainly won't want yo utelling him what you think is best either.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 2:17 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Sounds like dear old dad is overwhelmed, tired or both. Whatever it is, there really isn't anything you can do about it, because you can't force him to parent her. So, unless you want to take over the responsibility of your sister, I'd grit my teeth & let it go if I were you.

    What I don't get though, is that if the car is yours, how is she getting it to drive it, especially if you don't live with her? If your sister is coming over and taking the car w/o your permission, then you should report it stolen, press charges & let CYF & juvie get involved. This would be one way you could force your dad to parent your sister & regulate her behavior or he could allow CYF to outsource her for someone else to parent.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • anon 2:35 my dad uses, well, used my car to go to work everyday because he doesn't have one anymore. So it stayed over there

    Answer by AirForceWife14 at 3:06 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • You can't tell him anything. He's the father and your his daughter and you telling him how to parent his other daughter won't "hold water".

    Instead just sit back and wait for your sister to do something that will get her arrested as that seems to be the path that she's on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

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