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I'm so mad and hurt I don't even know what to say!!

Before Dh and I got married he was still really good friends with one of his exes. She was a family friend, best friends with his cousin, his mom was close with her and all that. I was ok with it. I'm still friends with one of my exes, we talk all the time. So It wasn't a big deal. But a few months after the wedding I found out that she (the ex) was telling dh to divorce me and sending him naked pictures of herself and all that. I FLIPPED out. I called my MIL and told her everything. I told dh I didn't want to him to talk to her ever again. Later down the road I find out my MIL is still talking to her.. At one point even thinking about asking her to move in!! I was hurt and disappointed. she knows my stance on this issue. dh doesn't think it's a big deal and says I over reacted. Well last weekend mil took my 4mo old dd to a family get together while I was at work. The ex was there. (continued)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Apr. 23, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • Then I find pictures on facebook of that tramp holding MY baby girl! And pictures of her baby posed with my baby with a caption saying something about how they're going to grow up together!! I just don't understand how my MIL can continue to be this close with her... SHE TRIED TO RUIN MY MARRIAGE. I don't think I over reacted in the beginning. I told dh if he found out some guy was telling me to divorce him and trying to talk to me into going on a date with him, he'd be pissed too. I've made my stance clear but apparently what I want doesn't matter. I just feel so ran over in this situation. I don't even know what to do or say right now. Mostly I just feel hurt.... What would you do in this situation??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • oh man, I'd be soooo pissed too. You need to tell that woman that she needs to respect you and your husband and your marriage. He didn't choose her and she needs to deal with it and move on.
    bootsky

    Answer by bootsky at 3:50 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I'm mad for you and I don't even know you! That is horrible. My first instinct would be to file for a divorce. He can't have his cake and eat it too. What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with his mother? What the hell is wrong with that woman?! That is not normal. She sounds like a psycho bitch. I am not one to advice people to give thier husbands an ultimatum but in this case I would. I would say "Me or her" figure it out. What a messed up situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • wow thats sucks but you can't change who your mil wants to be involved so there no reason to get upset about that but she shouldn't let that tramp even look at your baby thats what really takes the cake you should tell her how you feel and tell her to keep that girl away from your kid
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 3:55 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • wow I really don't know to say.. I agree with anom 3;51.. I think I would be talking to a lawyer because it sounds like your husband is haivng an affair with her and his mom is supporting it.. I am so sorry . I could be way off here but i would def. confront him on this matter and tell him to make a choice- me or her. and if it s me he had better not have any contact with her ever again and stay the heck away from her or it would be over.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • You can't keep your MIL from being in contact with the husband's ex, but you can prevent your MIL from having unsupervised visits with your daughter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I know you can't change people and it's her choice to be friends with her. But to me it's down right rude and she doesn't care about your feeling what a (bleep). Plus having your baby around that woman it's almost like your MIL is trying to tell you something.. Like she would have liked that other woman as her DIL and not you.  Rude Rude Rude!!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • WOW.. my blood would be boiling. Your husband should have stopped talking to her all together when she sent him naked pics and tried to ruin your marriage. That right there just shows you that he is perfectly okay with this no matter what you think. Did he know you would be upset by this? YES! But obviously he didn't care. As for MIL, there's not much you can do to keep her from talking to this woman but there is something your husband could have done, but chose not to. It is very easy to be upset with the other woman but you need to realize that the fact that your husband is letting all of this happen makes it just as much his fault. I am sorry but I would do what previous posters are advising and give him a choice, you or her. And stick with it.. absolutely no slip ups on his part if he agrees to it.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 4:21 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • That sucks!! Unfortunately your mil is an adult and free to choose who she is friends with, and I don't see her dumping the ex anytime soon (my grandma was like that with my uncle's ex, and I know how hurtful that situation can be). Does your husband have any kids with the ex? If so then I would ask that he keep all contact with her brief and ONLY about the kids. If he does not then it is time he tell her flat "you and I are over and done with. love my wife. I want no further contact with you!" and then he should delete and block her from everything (cell, fb, email...). I also agree with a pp about not allowing your dd to be at your mils house unsupervised. Maybe make it a condition that if mil wants to see dd, she come to your house. If she pitches a fit too bad. Tell her it is her own fault for letting the ex near your child... since she has NO BUSINESS being with your child!
    Good luck!!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:25 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Well, the unsupervised visits of the child with the MIL would cease immediately. And yes, she is an adult, I'll use that word loosely, she can be friendly with whoever she wants but why the hell she would want to be friends with a whore who is trying to break up her son's marriage is beyond me. The next thing is your husband is dead wrong, you are not overreacting and he needs to tell the ex to go away and stay away. Or else.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 5:03 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

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