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What do I do about my 16 year old daughter wanting to date a 13 year old boy?

About a month ago my tenth grade daughter broke up with a boy her age, she decided he isn't who she wants. Now she wants to date her eighth grade friend. They have been friends through our church youth group for several years. She doesn't see anything wrong with him being younger; she says he is more mature than boys her age. I am not sure how to handle this. Any advise would be much appreciated.

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Asked by pawlees at 6:56 PM on Apr. 23, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (36)
  • i don't really see a problem with it.
    age is just a number and it's not like either one of them are at an age that they can go to jail ... so why not let them?

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 6:59 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • It might actually be a good hing that she has a younger boyfriend than an older one. I think there is sooo much trouble a girl gets into w/older guys and at that age older does not have to be very much older to be too old. It sounds sweet and safe. You should have a talk about the age difference w/her though. I would just explane how boys sometimes are mature more slowly than girls. When I was 16,Ihad a boyfriend that was 14. I thought of him as a little brother at first but he was and will always be the other great love of my life next to my dh!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:10 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Love is blind isn't it! lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  •  it seems a little strange, because if the boy was 16 and the girl was 13, we'd all have a huge problem with it. it depends on what your daughter considers a "relationship" to be. if it's completely innocent (watching movies, holding hands) then i don't think you should interfere. but if you suspect this relationship consists of more adult behavior, maybe that should be the focus of your discussion with your daughter. it wouldn't hurt to talk about making a 13 year old into a father IF you think it might come to that. (not that i'm making that assumption about your child)


    Answer by bestmommyeber at 7:15 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I don't see an issue. My parents are 8 years apart, dad is older. My grandparents are 5 years apart, grandma older. I know many people who are with partners 3-4 years older/younger than them.

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 7:28 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • My daughter is getting married in a few weeks. She's 25 & he is 21. I don't have a problem with it at their age, but for some reason 16 & 13 seems a bit creepy. To me a 13 yr old boy is still a boy & a 16 yr old girl seems to be so much older...

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • 16 years olds don't need to be dating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Yeah, to me too...a 13 year old boy just seems so much younger than a 16 year old girl. I bet you he probably idolizes her though, he probably gets lots of "pats on the back" for having an older girlfriend,lol.
    I guess if you were to try to intervene and tell her she couldnt date him ,she might rebel and it would make being with him all the more exciting. So maybe , ask the important questions and stay low key on the subject. Maybe it will pass. Maybe they will get married and grow old together, who knows. Good Luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • who cares the age. But if it works out she needs to becareful when she turns 18. Just because she's dating him doesnt mean they will go off have sex and get married right away. They are still young. let her experience dating who ever she wants (as long as they are under 18) Would you care if the boy was 19 instead of 13?

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 7:47 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I think the whole "age doesnt matter" is certainly true in your 20's. But think about what you were like at 13 and then 16. And think about what most 13 year old boys are like vs 16year olds. For one she is in High School and he is in Jr High I would assume. Boys already mature much slower than girls, and then add a 3 year age gap to that? Probably not the best match up. I would find it kind of odd that my 16 yo dd would want to date such a younger boy. I could see like maybe 1 year, but 3? Its just strange that they would really have any interests in common. That is just me. I would just sit her down and really talk to her about it though.

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 8:14 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

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