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Does this make me a terrible mother? or do other Moms feel this way?

My baby is 4 months old. I've spent every moment with him since his birth. Now I feel the need for a little bit of "Mommy time" like I need some me time to recouperate a little bit. When I feel that way I lay him in his crib with his mobile on and all his flashy/light-up/singing crib toys.. As soon as I sit In the rocking chair next to his crib for my me time I feel bad like im neglecting him or like im not stimulating him enough... :( Is it normal to feel this way? or not normal? does it make me a bad mom to want some me time so early on?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Apr. 23, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (11)
  • no it does not make you a bad mom .. and yes it's normal for you to feel bad.
    i went through times like that where i just needed a few minutes to breathe .. lol.
    as long as he is safe, i think you are just fine to do that.
    why dont u try finding a babysitter for like an hour and just sit and relax?? sometimes that's nice too.
    NOLAmommaKRYS

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 9:39 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Honey, he is FINE. You're not neglecting him, you're sitting RIGHT next to him. He doesn't need stimulation 24/7. In fact...you may be OVER stimulating him. Babies like alone time too...and yes you need some YOU time, we all do. I'm a mother of two kids. I'm 20 years old. And it's difficult. I NEED me time, or I go crazy. It gets better when they start sleeping through the night. You are absolutely not a horrible mother, you're NORMAL. But you don't need to feel like you're a bad mom, or that you're neglecting your child because you're sitting in a chair beside his crib. Just relax. You could lay him in his crib with the toys on, and a monitor, and go outside for some fresh air, or sit down on the couch in the living room for some mommy time. You don't need to stay in the same room as him. You're doing fine. Just relax. You're too worried. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • absolutely normal. and 4 months is a long time! you are not a bad mom at all for this. you are a person and you need time for yourself.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 9:43 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Normal! You need your mom time! I'm assuming that baby is happy and not laying there screaming ;-)
    I totally stick baby in the bouncy seat, swing, whatever so that I can sit down and read the paper and have a cup of coffee. That is not neglect!
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 9:45 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I feel the same way sometimes! My son has been a real pill lately and so I've been letting him entertain himself while I sat down to relax. There's nothing wrong with that at all! Babies need to learn that they don't need someone playing with them every second...they can play by themselves too! Now if you left your baby in the crib all day long and hardly interacted with her at all, then yes that would be neglectful, but is completely normal and fine to leave baby alone for awhile.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 9:51 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • It's normal. I've spent all my time with my 6 month old DD except for when I left her with grandma to go to physical therapy. Even though I NEEDED PT, I felt like you do. I always feel like I need "me" time. Giving yourself a break will refresh you so you can be an even better parent for your DS. EVERYONE needs a break sometimes and there is nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself.
    Relax! You're doing great=]
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 9:53 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Yep your a bad mom, we all are welcome to the club. Now get a grip and go have a cup of tea. While your at it go into the bathroom and take a warm bubble bath too.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:16 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • You need a few minutes to recharge, mama. It doesnt make you a bad mama. It's totally normal to feel guilty though. We've all been there. I agree with mmmegan38. Go take a bubble bath. Whatever makes you feel better and recharges. hugs
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 10:35 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • Does it make you feel better that I let my mom take my daughter for an overnight when she was one month old? It was heart breaking but in the end it worked out GREAT for us. I have been a stay at home mom with her now for the last 14 months and I am just starting to get back to work. My daughter has adjusted so well because I allowed myself to be away from her at times. Its still hard...I feel guilty when I don't get enough time. IMHO Mommy guilt never goes away. Anyway what you are doing is also super healthy for you and for him. he's going to be a happier, healthier baby if he can realize that when mommy goes away, she always comes back :) Good luck and relax!
    millijess

    Answer by millijess at 12:36 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I feel the EXACT same way.
    ClaireW

    Answer by ClaireW at 1:52 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

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