Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


Okay, DD's father and I are not together since I found out I was preg. She is almost a year old (WOW - lol) and since she was born I only really talked to one guy. I completely trusted him, but it didn't work out (nothing bad, we are still friends).
My problem is, I find myself pushing guys away that want to get to know me b/c I am worried things will end up bad (like with DD's father). I'm afraid of finding the wrong I crazy for that?
Currently there is a guy (I've known for a few yrs) wanting to hang out and stuff, but I just keep putting it off b/c I'm having a hard time trusting any guy ... I hate that I'm like that,but then again, I like that I am like that b/c I want to protect my daughter.
What do you think? Do you think I am right? Or do you think I should give in a little....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Apr. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • There's nothing wrong with being cautious, it's a normal reaction to a bad relationship, just don't let it get out of hand, if it gets too bad try going to a counselor, but I don't think there's anything wrong with holding back on anything serious.

    Answer by heratyc at 9:50 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I agree that you should always take it slow, and be careful...and do not bring any guy around you're daughter until you're sure it's going somewhere, and somewhere good. I did that with my dd, and now I been with this guy for 2 years...he's been in her life since she was 4 months old, and she calls him daddy, and he's a great guy. But you're completely right in wanting to protect your daughter, you shouldn't want anything more than to do that. good luck..and just remember to take it slow.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • OP HERE:
    Thank you ladies - I appreciate the enocouragement.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • It's very hard to trust again after getting burned by someone you love(d) so much. I think what you're feeling is normal. Give yourself some time to heal. There's no reason to rush into anything. If this new guy is "the one" he will wait. Eventually, you will learn to trust again, it may take time, but it will happen......good luck to you!

    Answer by Callie140 at 10:05 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • I think you're very smart for wanting to protect your daughter. Not to make your fears worse, but there are some child abusers out there looking for vulnerable, single moms, so they can hurt their kids.

    So I think it's a very good call to take things slow while you've got a kid at home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • you have made a very wise decision there. and kudos to you!

    I see FAR too many women(single mothers) rush into relationships (several times!) with the wrong men. and they're all in this HUGE hurry to introduce their kid(s) and rush things FAR too quickly. I've actually seen it a lot. and I feel SOO bad for the kids! having so many different men in and out of their lives. it's sad. truly sad.

    so props to you for being cautious and thinking of your daughter first!!!

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 11:03 PM on Apr. 23, 2010

  • OP HERE:
    Thanks to all the great support.. I just needed some encouragement that I was doing the right thing. I really do appreciate it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.