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Is it wrong for my husband to not want to work with my brother and dad anymore?

I have a question that I would really appreciate other ppls opinion on..My husband,brother,and dad all work together doing tree cutting and trimming.My husband is the only one social enough to talk to ppl and get the work.After he has a job they all due it together mostly.My husband is getting burnt out saying that there are days that it takes him 4 hrs to get a job,then he has to help do the job,besides that during the time that it may take him to even get a job my brother may be at a family outing and my dad is doing his own thing.I feel guilty knowing that my family is financially dependant on him getting work,and I also feel bad that my husband feels that he can get the job on his own and do it on his own yet he still is splitting the money 3 ways.Any suggestions,either way someone is going to get hurt and the guilt is more than I can take.What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Apr. 24, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (7)
  • Talk to your dad and brother. Tell them to help out find more work. Or else...they are going to lose their jobs. Let them know that he's having a hard time finding work, and if he can't find enough work, he's not going to be able to pay them. I know how the tree stuff works. My hubby does it for a living, and absolutely loves it. Wants to have his own business someday. Anyway, good luck, and i'm sorry you're stuck in the middle of this icky situation, and i hope all goes well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I see his point.  He is the salesman of their business, but he doesn't get any compensation for it. I think that sucks.  They should work out something such as the profit is split 4 ways and whomever sells the job gets the extra share.  That way, each man has the opportunity to get the extra cut & if they dont do the part of the salesman, its no ones fault but their own.  Also,  if I were you, I'd stay out of it. 


    Answer by carlye828 at 1:19 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Your husband should be receiving a commission. He needs to do his research, and see how similar positions are compensated in your area.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:23 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • So I'm assuming that when they do the job and get paid the money is evenly split three ways. That's a problem since your husband is doing all the work to find customers. Instead of just not doing it anymore why doesn't he talk to your dad and brother? Maybe your husband should be getting a bigger share of the profit. It sounds like the three of them could be a good team as long as everyone is being fairly compensated for what they are doing and the hours they are putting in.

    Answer by EmilyandIsaac at 8:45 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • It sounds like your brother and dad are taking advantage of your DH. I would have a "family meeting" and have your DH explain that either they start doing their share of getting work OR he will just do it on his own that he doesn't need there help. Don't be condescending or anything just be strait forward and firm. AND don't give them an altimatum that your DH isn't willing to follow threw on and that your not willing to back him on.

    PS Your fam is fully capable of finding jobs without him. They just see that if they don't want to do it or do a crappy job when they have done it that he'll step up just so he can support his family.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 9:19 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I agree with everyone who said your husband needs to call a meeting and lay out everything. Honesty (perhaps not brutal) but just straight forward honesty is what is needed before resentment gets even worse and it all falls apart. Your husband should not be the "support system" for your father and brother - they need to step up or step away. If this doesn't get resolved it could cause much more trouble in the long run and hurt your relationship with your husband. My brother-in-law just got fired from his wife's family business (very ugly) - now he and his wife aren't even talking to many of her family members (life is too short, IMO). Perhaps you and your husband could talk about ways to "present" your case to them. It won't be easy but it needs to be done - and who knows maybe your father and brother really don't see it as a problem and perhaps when it is brought to their attention they will "get" it & step up-good luck!

    Answer by momofthreekjs at 9:45 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Nope, working with family is HARD! If your dad and brother can't step up and put in the time, I would go elsewhere, or start my own business doing everything myself.
    My husband tried to work with family, and it is WAY to easy to be taken advantage of, and trust me talking doesn't help, your dad and brother would take offense to easy.
    Think about high school (well she said that you think that I don't do enough work) don't even bother

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

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