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Should husbands and wives have secret friendships with the opposite sex?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Apr. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Secret friendships? no. that's crazy. why would it be a secret? just making it a secret implies that there is something to hid, which of course indicates that there is something more then just friendship going on.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:10 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • ...No. I would think he was cheating, But I do think he does have secret friends that are girls. And well, I think its cheating. If it has to be a secret, its nothing good.

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 2:23 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • why are you asking?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • hahahaha! someone actually suggested to me yesterday something to that effect. I said, I don't want to lie. I have a friend that my hubby is soooo crazy jealous over and to keep the peace I just stopped seeing him or any of our friends. They had a huge fight so I just distanced myself. We were very close but sometimes, I just gotta do what I gotta do. I did miss talking to him for quite some time but now I'm totally over it. Cafemom users are my secret friends. LOL It's safer, too!

    Answer by LavenderRose10 at 3:14 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Friendships are ok, secret ones? Not in this lifetime! A few years ago DH was in college and started being friends with a girl that was breaking up with her husband, he felt bad for her and she started to lean on him for support. Everytime I suggested to him that she bring her kids to our house and he'd invite her, there was always something else she had to do. She even told him she didn't want me to know where she lived cuz she didn't want me to get the wrong idea about them? WTF? Yeah, all the bells started going off, we got into some really nasty fights about it, I finally told him that he didn't want me to make him choose between us cuz I'd take his boys and give them back to his ex. He finally realized after that, from other things that he was told by other friends, that she had set her sites on him and was trying to steal him. The nice thing is that he admits that I was right and he was an idiot! lol

    Answer by daisy521 at 5:14 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Of course not. My spouse and I have friends of all genders; none are secret.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:17 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • LOL! Not if you want to STAY married! To that particular spouse, that is.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 12:53 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • All of my male friend have to be secret because DH is too jelous. Otherwise they would not be a secret because I have nothing to hide but I don't want to fight with him about it. I wouldn't care if he had a female friend but I just wish he could let me be honest about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I asked the question because hubby has a couple of women friends that he emails and calls. He has a separate Yahoo email account and gets absolutely paranoid if he thinks that I might see the email he is getting. Footnote...that is how I found out about the women...he left email messages open on the computer that we shared. Without all the details...he says that there is nothing going on physically and that there never will be. To me it is more that the physical...I feel somehow betrayed emotionally and keep feeling like if there were really nothing to would not be hidden. He has other women friends that I have been introduced to - that are free to call the house and he doesn't get all freaked just don't want to be stupid.

    Answer by TerryTaps at 1:07 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Can husbands and wives have friendships with the opposite sex? Yes... Can they have secret friendships of the opposite sex? NO! Secret relationships/friendships are very dangerous and toxic. Why is it necessary to keep it secret if there is love and trust? That is what marriage is about.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 9:30 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

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