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I hate my husbands job.

It makes me think he's cheating. He's a DJ at bars. He's even told me about girls asking him if he wants a blowjob, and some people told me not to believe him about it, but then it happened in front of me! I really don't feel easy about him working in bars.. He won't quit just cuz I feel threatened. I can't go cuz I have to stay home with the kids. I even saw that a girl that follows him to the bars he works at texts him. And sometimes he'll go hours without replying to my text messages. what am I supposed to do about it though? He calls me names when I bring up how i feel about it.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:30 AM on Apr. 24, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • His number is on his business card, and on the kareoke screen. it says call for bookings cuz he does parties and weddings too. And yes I know drunk girls are slutty... which is why i'm worried, that one that told him she'd do that to him right in front of me was really pretty too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I remember watching something on TV I forget what show it was but they said that if you confront a guy or girl about cheating and the first thing they do is become angry then 9 chances out of 10 they are doing it. Is there anyway for you to get a sitter a few nights or something that way you can go with him. Maybe that will bring you closer together...knowing that you are interested in what he does. Also remember drunk girls can be slutty and want anything with a dick...sorry to be blunt but thats how some are....good luck to you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • wow that sucks how does that girl have his number?

    Answer by lhernandez7208 at 2:57 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • oh yeah, plus... going with him a few times doesn't change what he could be doing when I'm not there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I don't blame you for being nervous, my DH works night security at a place called Club La Vela (google it sometime) it's one of the biggest nightclub/spring breakers paradise in the country...holds like 6000 people!!!! He's had more offers for blowjobs from under 21 girls to let them into the club then he can count. I am extremely lucky in the fact that he's not interested in them at all. Like he says, he's there to make money to feed his family...not to get laid, he gets enough of that at home.

    Would it do any good to let your DH know (calmly) how nervous and worried you are about this? I think for some guys having women pant after them gives their egos a boost that they can't get at home. I know it's a lousy thing, I went through it with my ex, girls would flirt with him all the time, in front of me even...he just thought they were being polite! Men can be such idiots sometimes.

    Answer by daisy521 at 4:49 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • My boyfriend is a DJ at two strip clubs. That was his profession before we even met. He gets offer for sex, he's always getting hit on and girls there get his number and text him. I know numerous women that say they could never handle that and wouldn't put up with any "hoochie whores" hitting on their man. But I know my boyfriend is faithful, we've never had a problem with infidelity. He's there making money for our family, and he's in bed with me every night. Sometimes other girls can cause you to feel insecure, or sometimes doubtful... it happens to us all. But he's with you for a reason. Unless there's any indication that HE is doing something wrong, I wouldn't worry. Maybe you should just mention that you'd like to feel a little more appreciated and special.

    As for him calling you names, that has to stop. That constitutes as verbal abuse, and I wouldn't stand for it.

    Answer by MommaRawks at 5:25 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • He calls you names? This is a relationship in trouble. The two of you need to sit down with a neutral third party, like a clergy person or couples counselor; if he won't go, go alone.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:13 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I think its less about the job and more about how he treats you. If he knows you feel this way he should find a new job and quit.

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 5:27 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I would go out and get myself a job where I was lookin hot and working with smoking hot men. See how he would like that. You can work at a bar on the nights that he is off.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 6:05 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I wouldn't assume he would cheat just because he works there. What would raise some questions is him being insensitive to your feelings about it. If he results to calling you names when you try to talk to him about it then he may be keeping something from you. Maybe he hasn't cheated yet but has thought about it and enjoys all the attention. if I were you I would tell him that you will not stand for him speaking to you that way and if he continues to disregard your concern you will ask for a trial separation. During that time you can go to counseling. if he won't go, then you go for you.

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 9:51 PM on Apr. 25, 2010