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Am I being mean?

Moms I have another situation I'm hoping you guys can help me with this morning. Okay, I live in a great neighborhood, and my two nieces ages 7 and 5, have a friend they play with from across the street. Anyway, this little girl's mom have her outside on the weekends around 10am waiting for my girls to come out, but I don't allow them to come out too early. The mom is always on the phone and she pay no attention to her daughter. When school is out for the summer, she is always at my home way up in the day, and I have to tell her to go home. Her mom is always laying in the house on the phone, The little girl is 5 and she is very overweight for her age. I know it is not her fault, but when she come over to swing on my girl's playset, it uproot out of the ground, and we have to try to find a way to get it back down in the ground. I don't want to tell her that she is too heavy to get on, what should I do?

Answer Question
 
ambr2006

Asked by ambr2006 at 10:52 AM on Apr. 24, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 19 (7,881 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • awww, poor little girl. Would you be able to cement the swingset down somehow so that doesnt happen?
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:10 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Yeah we're going to try that and see if it helps, but I want her mom to know that I cannot attend to her daughter all summer. Am I being rude?
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 11:16 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • No, I don't think thats being rude. I know for us, my sons friends prefer to come to our house..and I have no idea why,lol. But I guess I kinda like being the one to see what he is doing all the time. But it would be nice if he went somewhere once in awhile too,lol.
    I don't know how you would tell her though. She may not even think that its a big deal since you havent said anything yet.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:47 AM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • could you put up a sign on your door, or some type of signal for the little girl that lets her know when its okay for her to come and play. And when its time for her to go, you simply will have to tell her so.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I don't know about a sign, but you guys I really feel that her mom send her over so she doesn't have to deal with her. What mom would allow their kid to stay away as long as she does, I would be worried. Every now and then she will come to her front door to check on her, but that is it. I give the girl drinks and snacks, when I ask what her mom is doing she tell me she is either on the phone, or sleeping. As I stated before, summer break is coming up and I should not hvae to provide entertainment for her child too. When I get a pool, or a riding toy for the girls and I'm outside assembling it, here she comes. When I get home from work, she is sitting in her yard waiting for us, I almost feel sorry for her, but her mom should get up off her butt, and give this little girl things to play with.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 2:48 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I'm kind of on the fence in that, you should just deal with it, or talk to her mom. Technically you shouldn't have to deal with her, but if her mother isn't going to do anything, then maybe it wouldn't hurt to let her play with your children a couple hours a day and maybe invite her to do a few special things with you this summer, since it seems her mom has no interest in her. Or maybe suggest to her some summer camps you were "considering" for the girls that her daughter may want to consider for her if she has the funds - that way she gets out to do things and has other kids to play with , without it being all put on you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • They do need to be cemented down for everyone's safety.

    As for her being outside, as long as she is safe until your girls come out, there's not much you can do about that, but yeah you might want to call or go over to the house & talk about the summer plan- maybe let her know when her little girl can come over and when it might be quiet time/ dinner/ alone time so she is aware.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Don't buy cheap swingsets
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Does your community offer a summer program? In our town children can sign up for tons of fun activities through our parks and recreation department. They pick the kids up on school buses and bring them back at the end of the day and it's FREE. Ours only lasts for the month of June, but it sounds like something like this would be great for this little girl. Our library also offers a summer reading program. When my daughters were younger we had a little girl next door that we pretty much took in. She went home to sleep and when grandma came over, but other than that we had 3 girls most of the time instead of 2. You can't fix the parent but you can help the child. While it's frusterating to be the one responsible for someone else's child, think about the positive impact you are having on this little girl's life by letting her see a loving mom as opposed to one who spends her days sleeping and talking on the phone.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:44 AM on Apr. 26, 2010

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