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Do you try to force your kids to only date within their race or religion?

I just read a question from a woman who said she doesn't mind her son dating but she doesn't want him dating his girlfriend because she is part black and she things he should date only white girls... To be honest the post brought tears to my eyes... I live in a highly racial area and hate it. But this post really upset me today... She said she tried to teach her kids that we are all equal and that racism is wrong, but she believes that people should not mix races or religions...

Now, I'm a white girl, through and through, hell, in the winter I'm almost clear. But I've dated my share of "non-white" people (all kinds of colors) and it always upset me when people had this attitude. Now, I'm married, but my DH and I are of opposite religions and I get the same king of attitude from people...

What the hell does it matter as long as your kids are happy?

Answer Question
 
SabrinaMBowen

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 12:24 PM on Apr. 24, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (31)
  • Im not religious so I really don't care about that, but I would perfer my children date inside their race. I live in the rural south and interacial relationships are severly looked down upon.
    laciD

    Answer by laciD at 12:27 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • im not that ignorant...my son will be just like hubby and i and love ALL people...i have no intention on telling him whom to date and marry...he lives in america it will be his choice.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 12:27 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • My kids aren't dating yet, but I have no problem with anyone they choose as long as they are treated right.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 12:29 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I will add to my answer that I will love and support my children in any decisions they make.
    laciD

    Answer by laciD at 12:30 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • i don't really care about race differences and such, but i can see where a mother would rather their child date within their own "race"... in a bunch of places, people in interracial relationships have a really hard time. people are cruel and discriminatory... no mother wants their child to go through that kind of stuff.
    gracefulsky

    Answer by gracefulsky at 12:31 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Life is just that much easier when you don't have to deal with the stigma of being an interracial relationship. I'm not saying don't marry with other races, but some people choose not to because it is hard and you do get crap for it.
    Same goes with religion. If you are devout in your religion...it causes personal turmoil within yourself....not because others are wrong, but because you and your spouse may not share the same views and it conflicts wether you like it or not in the future when raising kids etc. It makes marriage all that much harder.
    I can understand both sides of the story.....
    I won't discourage my children for whoever they date and/or marry.
    more so than anything, I think you should marry with someone that shares the same religious beliefs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • My 19 yo son's gf is from a different ethnic background, her mom is a different religion, but the rest fo the family seems to be without any religion. That family does not accept my son as a person their daughter should date, because of the ethnic difference. His gf is 18 and sneaks around behind their backs....it makes me anxious just thinking about it. I wish my ds was accepted. There's nothing wrong with him except his blonde hair/blue eyes from the wrong "background".
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 12:33 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • "Now, I'm a white girl, through and through, hell, in the winter I'm almost clear. "

    OK, that made me giggle. To the question though......I don't care who my kids date, as long as they're safe and happy. Yes, I'm going to try to intervene if my kids are in an abusive relationship, or something like that. But I wouldn't restrict them due to race or religion.
    LokisMama

    Answer by LokisMama at 12:36 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I'm black and my husband is white. We have a Biracial daughter. We have lived all over even outside a rural small Army base (which was not a military town) in PA to ones in the south. We have never had any issues. I have always been able to make friends and so was my daughter. I wish people would stop using the silly excuse that (( it's looked down on)) as a escape goat for how they really feel (Just man up). Why not raise your kids to be independent and not worry about what other people think. Instead of wimps that worry about what others think. To answer the Question my kids can marry who they want as long as they treat them right.
    Mom2princessq

    Answer by Mom2princessq at 12:45 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Mom2princessq - Where in PA? I'm in PA and I'm not kidding when I say my town still has a "black church" and a "white church" for the same religion... I really want better for my kids!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:49 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

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