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I can NOT stand my 14 year old step son!

He is malicious,vendictive,sneakyand just plain MEAN!
I hear him instigating my son all the time.He is 4 years older than my son.He hits him any chance he gets. He lies to get my son in trouble. He has called me a bitch for finally getting mad enough at him to yell at him for knocking my son down and kicking him in the stomach! If I cook, he won't eat just to be spitefull. He says I'm nasty to my son, tells my son I'm fat..just to make my son cry and get upset and try to fight him.His dad believes half the stuff he says and doesnt believe ME or he thinks I've just mistaken an incident and soon as my DH's back is turned, the boy evil smurks at me!!
I have tried so hard with him, I have talked with him, tried to get him to tell me his feelings, I've told him how I felt, if I buy something for my son, I buy something for him...just..just EVERYTHING! I can't take this anymore! How do I deal with this child?!?! :(

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Apr. 24, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I always hear women talking about how they can't stand their step children. Why do you bother getting into a relationship with someone who has kids, if you're not willing to deal with how it's going to effect their children, and yours. You are replacing his mother, and for that, he is going to be spiteful. Get used to it..it's not going to change...and daddy's ALWAYS gunna pick his side over yours, that's just how it is. That's how I am. I will always stand by my daughter no matter what.

    lol While your honesty is appreciated, your answer is selfish! When you marry a person with 'baggage' you have no clue that the children, the X, or the courts are going to be pathetic buttholes! She is NOT replacing anyone's mother, she is simply a guardian to this child's well being while he is there. Her not being his mother does NOT, nor will it EVER give this kid a right to disrespect her or her child!
    Loryl

    Answer by Loryl at 1:39 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Does he live with you? Teen boys can be pretty hard to deal with and they enjoy being bullies when they can find an easy target. Displaced anger toward a younger sibling (especially step) can be dangerous. His attitude I could tolerate but the first time he put his hands on my child, his ass would be mine and he'd be living with mom with his visits with dad anywhere except around me or my child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Teens how fun....The only thing i can say is sit him and dad and little bro down and talk about the situation say everything you have wanted to say and let him talk too. YOur husband needs to know what is going on and the teen will eventually get over it but u have to be upfront about the situation with the whole family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I always hear women talking about how they can't stand their step children. Why do you bother getting into a relationship with someone who has kids, if you're not willing to deal with how it's going to effect their children, and yours. You are replacing his mother, and for that, he is going to be spiteful. Get used to it..it's not going to change...and daddy's ALWAYS gunna pick his side over yours, that's just how it is. That's how I am. I will always stand by my daughter no matter what.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Family counseling...
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:08 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Not willing to deal with it? HA! lol. I've been DEALING with it for 4 YEARS. Theres only so many times that my own child can be beat up, lied on, spit on,tormented,made to feel like he's stupid before I have to put my foot down and make him stop. Until you've walked in my shoes..you have no idea what hell that kid has put us through.A big part of it not being "fixed" is his fathers unwillingness to discipline the boy when he does this stuff. He gets away with it.And what can I do? I'm only the step mom. I'm not replacing his mother, he has his own mother.But I would have liked to have been his friend.But he won't allow that to happen. He isn't the only step child either. I have 2 other ones and I get along perfectly fine with them. They are respectful and nice to both my son and I and they are pleasant to be around.We have fun. WIth that kid, forget it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Sounds like the problem is between you and your husband not you and your stepson. He should make him be respectful to all family members. I think that your stepson should always be first in for your husband but that doesn't mean that he should be allowed to act out the way he does. If you choose to stay in this relationship, that i don't think is going to work, I would get counseling and if it doesn't improve separate. You have to do what's best for your child, that's your job, and what's best is to get him out of this toxic environment.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I agree in that the problem is between you and your husband. I do not agree that your husband should take his sons side all of the time. Family counseling is definitely in order. Good luck!
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 7:58 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Family counseling. Divorce. Call the cops the next time your stepson touches your son. Leave when he is there visiting.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:37 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • You two are in it for the long haul (you're married and he is your step-son forever) so I suggect that you all get into family therapy. ((Hugs))
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 9:04 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

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