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Which is a more stronger trait in a relationship: happiness or endurance?

I found out on my 4 year anniversary my husband didn't like me or wanted to date me so he had oral sex just before we 'officially' started dating. It killed all emotions I had for him. People have been telling me that I need happiness by just moving on, but I married for my daughter (now daughters) and my thought on our relationship is that we can stay together until the last one reaches 18, meaning endure for at least another 25 years.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Apr. 24, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • Happiness, there is no endurance without it, or at least there shouldn't be, people who stay in a marriage because of their children are not doing them any favors a good mom is a happy one and even if you were to fake it, kids are more perceptive than you think!

    Answer by older at 5:32 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • i agree with older
    but i also think that you should get marriage counseling or possibly even sexual relationship counseling.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:36 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Happiness.

    Happiness gives you the strength to endure year after year..

    I've been married 24 years. I have been though some really rough patches in my marriage.. But happiness, the desire for happiness, and the willingess to strive for happiness has helped give me the strenght to endure the shitty times that I have experienced.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:13 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • older said it best. I second her every word.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:27 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • did he confess that he wasn't that into you at first and was fooling around, does he now say he loves you. how is your relationship now ?

    Answer by TaiM at 7:27 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • oh and also has he been faithful and committed in the last four years?? it can be hard to find out about something bad that happened in the past, but perhaps it was a one time mistake that he regrets. feelings of love can come and go. I think that if you can see it as a mistake (if that is what it was) then your feelings for him will return, if he has been a great husband and a good man then look at his good qualities and realize that we do do stupid things when we are young and perhaps he is a better man now because of it..

    But for the question, happiness is better because you cannot be a good mother and your life will be un-fulfilling if you just stay in unhappiness and depression. what good would that do anybody?? there are lots of books, and counselors that can help you out.

    Answer by TaiM at 7:35 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

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