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SAHMs, is it your job to get the chores done on HIS schedule?

My husband is mad at me because, even though 90% of the laundry is done, folded and put away, his work shirts are in the washing machine and he had to wear yesterday's shirt to work. He asked me to do laundry yesterday, and I did, but I got distracted and forgot to put the load in the dryer.

He didn't go to work today until 1:30, he got up at 9:00. He had plenty of time to throw the load in the dryer.

I feel like since I stay home, it's my job to keep the house clean and the laundry done. But I DO NOT feel like it's my job to do it on HIS schedule. He's a big boy, and his mom doesn't live here. He could have put his own shirt in the dryer. Like I said, I keep up on the laundry, he just leaves all his work shirts hanging out so when I pick up laundry in the bedroom, they're all together... not my fault. You want to wear it the next day, put it away!

So, who agrees with me and who feels I was in the wrong here?

 
Ati_13

Asked by Ati_13 at 6:24 PM on Apr. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
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Answers (29)
  • Im a SAHM and I totaly agree! I know the feeling and yes we should try and keep stuff kept up that is our Job to take care of the house and the kids but no where in the job description does it say MAID! Haha I can relate because I have had the same argument multiple times... They dont realise that somedays even though you are home your hands are full with the kids and ewverything else and getting things done to perfectionism isnt always posible.
    candlefire22

    Answer by candlefire22 at 6:37 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • no, sometimes stuff like this happens. i try to do laundry and keep him in clean clothes but it's not my responsibility. he is a big boy now, i know he knows how to do laundry.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 6:28 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Tell him he's got 2 hands, use them. lol No, really. Sure, we do our best to get as much done as possible but the moment they EXPECT things done is when I'd snap him back to reality.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • no. i make sure that before my husband comes home from work EVERYTHING is done, i have 12 hours to do everything so if something like this happen to me im pretty sure my husband would be mad, but im pretty sure he doesnt work so many hours. but no i dont think that any woman should do anything on her mans schedule. were big enough to know what needs to be done and by when. things happen were not 100% perfect. and somtimes men dont understand that!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Did he realize that he didn't have a clean shirt until it was time to go to work? Did he realize that his work shirts weren't dried? Did you specifically say to him, "I didn't have a chance to get the work shirts dried" or "Would you mind putting them in the dryer?" Men are notoriously NOT mind readers. If so, then I say you've got a valid argument, but if he's used to you doing all that for him, which you said you do, then he may not even have thought about it, or even thought that you would probably take care of it in the morning.
    I don't look at household chores as a matter of "I did this, you should do that," it's more of "what do I need to do to make the household run smoothly and see that everyone's needs are met." Yes, I've missed having work clothes washed and dried on time. Yes, he's run out of clean socks a few times. It's not the end of the world.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • No..i dont do his laundry
    ryanlynn

    Answer by ryanlynn at 6:46 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • yep my husband expects it all to be done and to be done right now..some days i dont do much house work, instead play with the kids, i just do the chores in the evening when its my usual down time...i dont see the big deal as long as it gets done..and mu house is always clean, not spotless, but clean and presentable
    gothmama91

    Answer by gothmama91 at 6:52 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • It was just an oversight, nothing more, nothing less! I get he is upset that he did not have a clean shirt and it probably was frustrating for him but he will (or should) get over it pretty quickly. As far as whose job it is, that is up to you and him. If you all have decided that its your job than its your job until the two of you decide otherwise. Things happen all the time that are no ones "fault" its just an oversight...
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 7:05 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • MY HUSBAND WOULD HAVE PUT THE CLOTHES IN THE DRYER. HE'S A BIG HELP. SO, I WOULD AGREE WITH YOU. TELL YOUR HUBBY TO HELP YOU OUT TOO.
    Katie80620

    Answer by Katie80620 at 7:34 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I don't think it's your job to do things on his schedule, but I think if he said to you "I need a clean work shirt for tomorrow, can you do laundry" and you told him yes, then I think he has a right to be irritated. It's not that it's your "job" to make sure his work shirts are clean, but that he asked you to do it and you told him you would. He probably put it out of his mind after that. I would be irritated if I asked my husband to do something for me by a certain time and then found out at the last minute that he didn't do it.

    Now, if he just said "hey can you do laundry" and didn't explain to you that he needed a work shirt for the next day I'd say that's his fault.

    Oh and yes, I do agree that he should be able to put the dirty laundry in the hamper and the clean laundry in his closet. Maybe you should declare that anything not in the hamper doesn't get washed.
    EmilyandIsaac

    Answer by EmilyandIsaac at 8:18 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

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