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do your in laws?......................

Have any of you experienced your in laws favoring their other grandchildren and basically acting like yours dont matter and then the only time they want to acknowledge yours is when they dont like your parenting skills?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Apr. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Yep. I did the only thing I could do...I ignored them.
    And didn't put up with criticism

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Maybe not exactly. But my MIL has a daughter and she is much closer to those grandkids than mine, I think because my husband and I are more on our own and my SIL is over at my MIL's a lot, calls her daily etc...

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • yes, she seems to favor sil's kids over mine & HER SONs

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • So far my kids are the only grandkids, but since they have made it REALLY obvious that they like their other DIL a whole lot better than me, I am pretty much expecting this to happen once they have kids. We live less than an hour away and they see the kids about four times a year and never call. They just don't make an effort.

    Answer by Freela at 9:07 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • My inlaws seem to just tolerate my daughter. They already told us that she will never be a real.. "smith" becaue she's adopted. But they live far away and are near deaths door so I don't worry much about it.

    Answer by BlooBird at 9:17 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • BlooBird, that's a horrible thing for a grandparent to say!! I don't know if I'd have kept my cool if someone said that to me. Kudos to you if you managed to.

    I just recently noticed that my FIL is harder on my nephew than he is on my son. The boys are practically the same age (20 months and 17 months). He follows my nephew and his mother around (Her husband is my husband's brother) and constantly says he shouldn't do this or that. Mean while my son the terror is bringing the house down and he's "such a darling." Okay I'm exaggerating how bad my kid is, he's really quite good, but he's doing the same things that his cousin is doing but doesn't get treated the same. I don't like it one bit because I feel like he's taking out bitterness he feels towards the parents on the child.

    I think holding grudges is wrong, but passing it on to the next generation is even worse!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Yes! My MIL (dh's step mom) is horrible with the favortism. She's been that way since dh was little though, always favoring her own, so even though we had the first grandchild a couple of years ahead of any others she has been that way from day one. Now that there are several grandchildren and she clearly favors hers with attention, gifts, you name it and they get MORE. She's also made it clear she doesn't like my parenting skills, she bought me an entire set of parenting books. LOL I have just learned to ignore it but at the same time don't take any of her crap. It's a learned skill, you'll get there. :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • My husband and his brother were/are ignored by one set of grandparents. Its sad now, because my husband and BIL are the ones who have there lives straight, the other grandkids dont. Now the grandparents are in poor health and there arent many people there to help since they alienated the good grandkids.

    Answer by nsrush83 at 11:11 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Ohhhh yeah. My oldest is not DF's kid...but that's who she knows as her dad, but ever since OUR baby came around, the oldest is treated unfairly. UGH...

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 11:41 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • My ILs have favored all the grandchildren from my DH's 3 brothers & completely ignored our son right from the start. When my son was born, I got a busy box from them. 2 days after my son's birth, my SIL had her DD & she got a brand new deluxe pink stroller. They bought a really nice stroller for the other 6 grandkids, too. Every holiday was the same, too; my kid got $5 crap and the other 7 got really nice stuff. Two of my DH's brothers live out of state & one lives in another county, while we live 2 miles away; They'd spend vacations visiting the other grandkids, but we only saw them if we went to visit them. And on, and on, and on....

    The best part?

    ALL of DH's brothers are divorced now & the ILs never see any of their 7 darling grandkids b/c they're still out of state. DH & I are still married & living 2 miles away &, although they now want to, they never see our son either b/c we broke off relations yrs. ago.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

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