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Baby pictures.

So, I finally got the BMs family to send me some pictures after my mom told BM dad that they were not allowed contact until I got pictures. Apparently there are no pictures of him before his first b-day. I am big on baby pictures so, what do I tell my son when he asks why there are no baby pictures of him? He knows I am not his bio mom and he realizes he came to live with us at three.

 
matthewscandi

Asked by matthewscandi at 9:09 PM on Apr. 24, 2010 in Adoption

Level 26 (27,814 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You tell him the truth. You don't have any and if you were there you would've taken pictures for him. I kind of don't see this as a big deal especially since he knows that he is adopted.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Do you know what hospital he was born at? Hospital records are protected by law but the pictures of infants they take are not. I was able to contact the man who did baby pictures at the hospital where my child was born and I got copies of them. The only picture I have of DD before 18mo old is the hospital photo.

    You will need to know the company that takes the baby photos and the hospital and birthmothers name.
    BlooBird

    Answer by BlooBird at 9:13 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Would they have them after 6 years?
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:15 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Bloobird, that is a great idea! Our son came home at 4 weeks, and the only pics we have of him before that are three that were taken by the foster family. We are fortunate to have them, and it's not as bad as the OP's situation, having none for the first year. I think I will look into that.

    OP, I like the idea of telling him that you have none, but that you would have taken some if you'd had the chance. If he asks why bmom didn't, I think the best answer is "I don't know".
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 10:47 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • The truth. He will understand and you can just not make a big deal out of it, too. Make a cute scrapbook of the ones you do have : )
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 10:55 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I agree with the poster above me. I also dont agree with holding the child hostage for visits for something as irrelevant as a couple photos is very smart.

    I think the damage that you do to the relationship with crap like that far out weighs any value your child gets down the line from looking at a baby picture or two.

    And why is your Mom during the dirty work saying that you want pictures?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • The reason my mother told him that is because he called her wanting to talk to my son and I had already told him over and over every time they called that I wanted pictures for my son. They only call once a month and only see him 2 or 3 times a year. The relationship is damage beyond repair already. They destroyed the relationship long ago, themselves. They are bitter people and they took it out on my son every chance they got which is why the visits are here. Thanks for the helpful replies though.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:28 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

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