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so why does the man get to have all the fun and i am keeping the children ALWAYS

i have no life, no friends (i have a few but none close enough to hang out), i am rarely away from my kids unless im at work (3 nights a week), and i would really just love a night out, i want to dance, i want to drink, i want to PARTY just one freakin time before i die of boredom. but i dont get to bc im the mother...its my responsibility to care for the kids, and going out is not a part of that in my house. so why is it that he can go out? why is the man always allowed to go drinking with his friends, or playing basketball/golf, etc. why is his idea of me getting out of the house involve the grocery store??? it just pisses me off that i am bored to tears here hoping for a convo on cafemom, while he just left for the bar...and im the one that justs got off work! WTH??? IM SUFFOCATING...he tells me im welcome to come with him...but he knows i dont have a sitter this late....i hate being a sahm...hes special bc he pays bills!?!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Apr. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • woah. he treats you like that because you let him. & your crazy for letting him. you need to put your foot down girl!
    im a stay at home mom, and me and my SO are young (23 & 24), and my SO does not go out without me. we still go out and drink and dance at the bar with our friends, but only together or seperatley but only if we both can go out. my mother or my aunt watches our son for me. theres NO WAY in hell he would be going out to the bar without me while i stay home with the kids, and if there was never anybody to watch the kids, then we would be taking turns going each weekend & if he didnt agree to it, i would divorce his ass so quick his hend would spin. i dont put up with any shit from men, life is too short not to be happy. you deserve to go out and have fun.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:29 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • What kind of real man does that?? Your man does that because you let him.

    Answer by Pnukey at 11:32 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • I'll babysit so you can go out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • Whenever DH goes out, I go with him. But we only make plans when the kids are spending the night somewhere.

    Answer by angeleyes0306 at 11:37 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • OP HERE - so what do i do? i feel stuck all the time! i have no where to go if i were to leave him, i love him, but im not happy, im always bored, and his idea of fun is with his friends. we go out as a family sometimes out to eat or to the mall, but he and i hardly ever go anywhere just the two of us, and when we do the only place he wants to go is to the movies or something. if i ask him to go to the club or bar, he NEVER WANTS TO GO. but as soon as his friends call, he is all for it. he does nothing around the house really...i do it all, and work, i care for the kids all day long from the time they get up until they go to sleep, even when hes here he plays with then maybe an hour. he hasnt taken out the trash in a few weeks, im doing that, what do i do? do i nag, and curse and fuss?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Apr. 24, 2010

  • If you PM me, add me as a friend or whatever you will find a supportive shoulder to lean on because i know exactly what you are going through and it helps to have someone to vent to or just share your day with with....

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:38 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • As soon as he walks in the door, take the keys, hand him the kids and leave. Go get a pedi or lunch with a friend. Tell him, you need your time too that the kids are just as much his responsibility as they are yours. Everyone is right, he will only do what you allow him to get away with. He needs to step up, if not LOVE or not, you don't need someone like him. Hubby has his time, you have your time and you two should have time together without the kids. You don't need to nag, you just really need to be blunt and tell him. Men don't get word games, give it to him straight, don't sugarcoat...

    Answer by midnightmoma at 1:44 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • I hate to say it, but there is something fishy if he only wants to go to the bar with his friends. If he went to the bar to hang out, he would have no problem going with you, but there is something more going on. Open your eyes. It honestly seems like he has no interest in you. He does not care how you feel. I would tell him that either you go to the bar together and show you what he is hiding, or he can live somewhere else while he goes to the bar. He is picking his friends over "the love of his life". Sorry, but that's how I see it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • he is walking all over you! im a sahm but i get time to myself because i take it. i hate the way this sounds but i demand it and i will have it. im not trying to be mean but you are an equal to him and you get the same rights as he does and you need to elt him know.

    Answer by jamiethornton26 at 7:17 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Why have you allowed this to happen? You let your spouse know when you are going out and when you will be back (give him the chance to check his calendar for conflicts. Insist that he give you the courtesy and respect; if he won't, then maybe this is not the man you thought he was when the two of you decided to have children together.

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:46 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

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