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Should I really ignore my toddler of terror?

I am just looking for a little reassurance as my little sweet 15 month old Ellie went from angel to well.... something not so angelic overnight.

She is screaming at the top of her lungs, throwing tantrums for any reason, no medical reason. All the professionals say ignore it, but do the professionals prescribe the medications the mommies need to take to deal with it? Are we really supposed to just ignore the toddlers of terror?

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girlneffy

Asked by girlneffy at 10:32 AM on Apr. 25, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (27 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You just need to make sure is safe. If she starts tantruming at home, it's okay to pick her up and put her in her crib or her room. And tell her you'll be back when she quiets down.

    If you are in a store, this happened to me twice, just stop what you are doing, pick her up and take her out of there. I left carts of almost full groceries those times and told the front desk I was sorry. Put her in the car and take her home. do not make any kind of scene. It might shock her into stopping.

    Once she finds out that this behavior does not get her what she wants, she will stop.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 10:41 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • When she's being good, talk to her as much as you can. She'll improve when her language skills increase, so she can tell you what she wants. She will not do this forever.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 10:43 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Ignoring them did not work for me, neither did telling my daughter to stop. Diversions worked well. When I noticed that she was getting grumpy, I knew I had to cut the tantrum off at the pass. I pulled out her favorite toy, brought the kitty into the room, fixed some yummy snacks, did whatever I could to keep her mind occupied until it passed. She also responded to firm hugs. I would just pick her up and tell her how much mommy loved her and cuddle with her, rubbing her back, until she was calm. Sometimes you just have to love them through it. Temper tantrums can come from frustration or wanting attention or a struggle over control. If the tantrum began over something the child wanted, don't give in just to get the tantrum to stop. Calmly walk out of the room and don't get frazzled and start yelling yourself. Speak in calm tones and let your child know that you love her. She will eventually grow out of it.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 10:48 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Yes you ignore it, in the sense that you don't feed into it. I use time out with my 2 year old, it took a little bit for her to get it but she did. It helps some. A lot of talking on her terms as to what she is feeling and what she can do or say instead. Like my 2 yo hits my 5 yo, so I told her to tell the 5 yo what she doesn't like and gave examples(repeating this for 2 weeks). So this morning the 5yo was gently poking the 2 yo. The 2 yo said no poke, the 5 yo ignored her, the 2 yo hit her. They both went to time out. And I went over it with both of them again. I am hoping by the end of the year they will get it.


    Then when she is behaving the way you want, tell her and reward her with love. You will be amazed at how much positive reinforcement will do. I use in truck loads with my girls. At least when they are feed and have had a good sleep it does wonders. And so nice when the corporate, it gives me hope.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 11:22 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • What I did when my daughter went from angel to demon over night at 14 months... I bought a full size playpen. I put it in the formal dining room since we rarely eat in there. Every time she started, no matter what the offense was, I picked her up with out saying a word, put her in the playpen and walked away. It took 2 weeks for her to realize that it was no fun anymore. She wasn't getting a reaction from me or anyone else. So as soon as her audience disappeared, the fun was gone. It didn't stop the fits completely, but it GREATLY changed them. They went form lasting an hour to a few minutes at most. She's 3 now and understands the concept of time out. I bought a timer and she knows when she hears it ringing she can get up. i don't let the time start until she's calm either. On occasion, if the situation warrants, she does get a spanking. A combo of these things worked well for us, but every child is different.

    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 11:26 AM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • I'd try ignoring the tantrum while carrying on in a normal fashion to redirect her attention (particularly if you're out some place). You want to avoid leaving a place everytime a tantrum happens because that may very well be her goal.. I vividly remember being in a store one time with my <2 yr old strapped in a cart screaming bloody murder because I wouldn't let him play with some balloons.. I kept right on going, talking with him, pointing things out (and taking deep breaths...). He got over it.. When you're at the edge, I totally agree with putting your child in her room or some other safe place while you take a break.. Just keep reminding yourself that this phase will pass... One other suggestion, once a tantrum has started, don't re-iterate whatever caused it (i.e. don't tell her again she can't have the cookie). I've found this just reignites the tantrum..
    momofryan07

    Answer by momofryan07 at 2:59 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

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