Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I need to know how I approach my teenage daughter which I suspect has become sexually active? I have talked to her about sex already, i am just worried that she is throwing away her teen years.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Apr. 25, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • This is always a touchy subject....When my mom found out I had become sexually active, it was because she found the wrapper to a PG test in my laundry. Lol...So she didn't have to bring it up with me or anything...As someone who is younger, I can't think of how I would talk to my teen about it, but I'd try and think of how I'd like to be approached about it. The only thing I can come up with is that I WOULDN'T want to be confronted about it! Not like you can just let it slide if you're worried about her being irresponsible though. I would try just calmly talking to her again about safe sex. If you're wanting her to avoid it all together, try and show her what could, and more than likely will come of it. Try and get her to see exactly what it would be like to be a teen mother. Show her condoms don't always work, and BC isn't 100% either. Hope all goes well. Good luck :)

    Answer by MillieJ at 5:21 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • ask her. and if she says no i would press her. let her know you are not mad you would just really like to talk to her about it. it she still says she is not remind her why she should not. i wish my mom had cared just enough to do this for me. it would have made a huge difference in my life. dont be afraid of this subject with your daughter, it could impact the rest of her life.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 5:26 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • yep, just ask her.
    i wish my mom would've talked to me when she suspected that i was sexually active. or even if i wasn't but had become the age that i might be.
    Let her know it's okay to be honest. That you aren't going to discipline her if she is sexually active. that you just need to be sure that she is safe.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:34 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • I had a daughter who was a teen mom and a son who was a teen dad. We even talked about sex and birth control so I was not happy when they screwed up. Once that happened I had no problem telling them WEAR A CONDOM every time they left the house. I even provided them with condoms. I didn't want to promote more sexual conduct but I also didn't want more grandchildren at the time. Just talk to her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • As a mom with a sixteen year old that is having a child, I can def talk to you about this. My son came to me last year, so I guess it was a lot easier because he sat me down. I didnt think he was even in to that yet, or maybe it was denial. I am glad he came to me because it was the time to talk about sex, protection, not having it at all, etc. Well he and his girlfriend apparently already had sex, and was coming to me for advice, so I was shocked and def thrown back as you can imagine! I called the girls mom and we all talked about it. We decided to put his girl friend on birth control pills, because they both said that they werent going to stop seeing each other, and both myself and her mom knew what that meant. You cant stop your teen from having sex, but you can talk to them,make sure you let them know that they can come to you. Obviously, all didnt work with me and my son. But we are dealing with it. all you can do is try

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 5:46 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • sorry I got cut off. So yes my son is going to be a father, and yes I was hurt, mad, sad, every emotion you can think of but she is due in two months, so what is done is done. All you can do is be her mother, educate her, let her know that she can come to you, and just hope and pray she listens, and thinks about her future. Let her know that there are so many teens loosing their child hood because of teen age pregnancy. Have her watch sixteen and pregnant, i know that sounds stupid, but hey you never know. She needs to be aware of everything that can happen. Good luck.

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 5:48 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Thanks everyone for your advice. I will talk to her, still unsure how to approach the subject.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • tell her you want her to see a GYN that is how my mom did it....if she asks why just tell her so if she is having any issues they can be dealt with before she goes away to college in a few years and if she is interested in birth control she can talk to a doctor about it. That is how my mom did it, she never brought up sex just that I needed to see doc to make sure I was "okay"

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:57 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • I am blessed an fortunate to have a relationship with my mom where we can talk about anything...even as a teenager, I could go to her and talk with her and get an understanding about sex, life or anything else I needed to know...And I'm glad I passed that right along to my teenagers can com and talk to me or my dh, about sex, boys, girls etc., without feeling like we're directing them or trying to pry into their business. We listen and let them talk. We inform when we fell that the kids are clueless and give them the best advice we possibly can. We realize that we are the parents and in order to stay informed is to ask the source (them).

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:37 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I think it depends on what type of relationship you have with her. Also is she the type to easily get offended when you ask if her something. You know when you ask did you leave your socks in the hallway and she starts yelling "It wasn't me, why are you always accusing me of doing stuff" because if she is approach with caution. If she's not then make some time when you know you will not be interrupted. Then sit down with her and tell her your concerns. Tell her that you just want to make sure she knows about sex, protection or abstinence. Because if she's having sex the least you can do is talk about protection. You don't want her to become a teen mom or get an STD. Oh man good luck. I have a teen daughter and I hope she never has sex until she's 30, hubby says 50,but that's wishful thinking.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on May. 6, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.