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How to get the Mom to cooperate more? Coming from Step-Mom.

I am the Step-Mom of 2 wonderful boys and I have my own son. My step children live with us 99% of the time. There Mom doesn't help, only gets them a twice a week after school, constantly goes out of town for pleasure, we don't receive any child support etc. and if we ask her for help or try to work with her she gets an attitude. Then to top it off she talks badly of us when they do go over there. How do I fix this without causing more issues for the kids and myself.

Answer Question

Asked by Bowens5 at 5:54 PM on Apr. 25, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • i would get a court order for child support. they are her children and she needs to help out. you can force her to do anything else. but when it comes down to it, and she is trash talking, your kids will know the truth.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • You need more help and support than you can find in Answers. Please look around CafeMom for a supportive stepparenting group. You will have to look and have patience. There are some very good groups and there are some groups where you might be attacked. I'm telling you from experience. It is worthwhile and it might take a while to get to know someone to talk to because unfortunately there are people who attack step parents. Be careful but you will find a lot of good support and knowledge gained from good, loving stepmoms who have been in the trenches and making a healthy life for their families despite all the difficulty.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Don't speak poorly of her. And don't judge her so harshly. It's up to your husband to address the child support issue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • She is the real mom. she is aloud to have an attitude

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • This is me ^^^^

    Has he taken her to court for child support?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Get CS. If the mom doesn't want to be a good mom to them then it's her loss. You can't make her be something she's not

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Beware in this area, some believe the SMs are the big bad monster no matter what BM has done. Have hubby take her to court for CS they will take it from her check or tax refund. Our BM was a deadbeat too, I adopted my SS after his mother committed suicide.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Yes, I am sorry you are getting trouble from anons :37 & :38 on here .

    just because you are a BIOLOGICAL MOTHER does not make you a real mom. no matter if you are a "real mom" or a deadbeat BM....that doesn't give you the right to get an attitude. you are suppose to be doing what is in the best interest of your child! that is what makes you a real mom.

    since someone did mention step parenting groups, I would like to recommend you to Mom's with Blended Families! I love it there! Very nice women who are supportive and understand what you are going through.

    Definately go for CS and other than that, don't rely on her for anything. I try not to and our BM is more involved than yours, but she is one that isnt consistent. I know it can be hard, but I just wouldn't worry about getting her to step up...its her loss....and I know it affects the kids and you hate to see them hurt, but you can't make her be a mom.

    Good luck

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:37 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

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