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My 14 year old neice had sex with a 19 year old........help

My niece just confided in me that she had sex with a nineteen year old. She said she wanted to but I feel that she was too young to and he should have known better. I want to turn him in. am I allowed to since I am just the Aunt? I have told the Mom and am going to tell the Dad. I hate being a tattle tale but that boy should be in jail and learn a lesson to leave 14 year old girls alone.............

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Apr. 25, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (33)
  • Um you can but in my opinion your niece should know better too. I hate how just the guys get blamed if it was consensual. Maybe this guy thought your niece was older. I don't think he should be blamed if she said yes.

    I have seen a friend go to jail at the age of 18 for sleeping with a 13 year old who said she was 18. She looked 18 and was at a party with many 18+ people. Her dad reported it and she told the court she lied about her age but he still went to jail and is now a "sex offender" for the rest of his life.

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 7:17 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • You are right that why I havent done it yet. I will get all the facts from both sides. I would not want to hurt anyone if it was consentual.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • I agree with imamommmmmyyy......Some of these little girls now a days are just hot in the behind. I'm not saying it is not wrong for the young man who was 19 but for him to be classified as a sex offender is just not right. Do you know if if was her first time she may have had someone older than that. I am in noway trying to paint her in a bad light. I say leave it up to the parents to deal with, you did your part.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • When I was younger--from 9th grade till my senior year I dated and had sex with a 39 year old uncle of a classmate, my aunt told my mom six months before I turned 18 so we stopped seeing eachother till I was 18. Sometimes I thought if my aunt would have never told on me I could have brought him home when I was 18 and tell my mom I just meet him. But since my aunt told and I lied it would have never worked--but now that I am a mom---If I would have stayed with him--would I REALLY WANT HIM AROUND MY KIDS?? Sometimes I thought I was too young but I still thought at the time it was right--but I NEVER want my daughter to do it. TELL THE COPS, IMO I DON'T KNOW IT IS A STICKY SITUATION--GOOD LUCK!!

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 7:23 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • I think if she consented to it, you should leave well enough alone. You told her mother, let her mother handle it. I don't think he should have done it, but I don't think what he did is so bad that he should be on a sex offender registry, which is a good possibility.

    Answer by Christina807 at 7:26 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • I also agreew itht eh first poster -- I also had a friend who was 19 with a 15 year old girlfriend who he treated very well ..... her parents were deadbeats and one time they got mad at then and pressed charges against him -- even though they let her live with him.... so now for the rest of his life he is a sex offender ....and he is now married to that girl and they have 3 kids ....

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • If she consented to it, she's in the wrong and should get grounded. However, at that age she's still a child and should not be held at the same level of responsibility as a 19-year-old man. If she lied, that's unfortunate, but even then, I really feel like a 19-year-old guy who has sex with 14-year-olds is a bigger threat to society than a 14-year-old who is "hot in the behind". Like I said, yes, they're both at fault, but at different levels and their punishment should be different. I think if it were me, I would turn him in.

    Answer by Adelicious at 7:39 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • If she lied, that's unfortunate, but even then..

    So what is every guy over the age of 18 supposed to ask for ID before he sleeps with a girl?? That's a great way to live, not being able to trust anyone and anytime you want to be with someone ID them first..

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 7:50 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • Yes, he should ask for ID every time he sleeps with a girl. I'll be this guy knew she was 14 and still did it anyway. He should be in jail.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 8:08 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • You say she wanted to which means it was consentual. However she should be on birth control so she doesn't end up pregnant. If her mom wants to help her with that great, but if not maybe you should. She confided in you for a reason. She trusts you. Yes tell her mom and let mom handle her daughter, but help keep her safe. It's likely to happen again.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:12 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

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