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so disgusted!

My cousin's bf goes out of his way to be rude,condescending,and disrespectful to women.He's one of these guys who tries to belittle you for anything you say,and insists no matter what you say,you're wrong.She just had her 2nd son today,and he left me,my aunt,and the baby's grandma literally in tears because he wouldn't allow us to hold him.He's gone out of his way to avoid paying any child support or give anything whatsoever to my cousin for the baby like diapers,etc,and his stupid family backs him up! They all treat my side of the family like dirt! I get so frustrated because my cousin won't say a damn thing to him about his behavior! I'm so broken hearted over this mess,I've been crying since he was born.Can anyone give me a virtual shoulder to cry on? I need to hear of some hope.Prayer just isn't cutting it today.I fear for the worst for this little guys welfare having a "dad" like this! Sperm donor is more like it.

 
TMJ121099

Asked by TMJ121099 at 7:46 PM on Apr. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (186 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Just a thought... they have grandparent rights just like they have parental rights. I think your mom should look into the courts mandating that she be allowed visits. I don't know if that will help you see him or not, unless she like takes him for the day then you could, but even so, at least that way you'll have "someone on the inside" who will keep an eye on him and make sure he's being cared for properly, and that may be the best you can hope for.

    I know your pain. My brother's girlfriend wouldn't let our family see her daughter for nearly a year when my brother was in jail. It's hard, but it will get better, I pinky swear.
    charliebean

    Answer by charliebean at 3:22 AM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • You should cut all ties with the cousin since she is being an idiot and letting this go on.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 8:04 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • She should get CS but as for you and the family, you can't make her see what a jerk he is so just enjoy your own life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • I am sorry you are so sad, sometimes people can't see the branch that's smacking them in the head - I wouldn't get too stressed about not holding the baby, if he was only born today, it is too much for any little person to be passed around, Auntie, cousin & grandma hold him -lets give sperm donor the benefit of the doubt that he is trying to protect the little ones immune system.
    I disagree with SaraP, , don't cut your ties. but... if you hate him, he must know that, so he is unlikely to behave well around you. Try to make friends with him. Yes he's an ass, but your cousin loves him and you love your cousin. You will get further with him if you are being polite & respectful -tough to do when someone is a jerk. You will have to fake it til you make it, but be kind, have a joke with him. decide in your heart that you need to reassess you opinion of him. Try to see good things. As much as he's a pig, he is the baby's Daddy cont'd
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 11:01 PM on Apr. 25, 2010

  • cont'd and your cousin needs your support in her own choices, not only in the ones you approve of. She might not feel st5rong enough to confront him and if you guys are all on his case too, it's too hard to find your own voice. Be kind -for her, Be respectful - for her, Be patient -for her, she will eventually get a backbone, and this guy will either grow up or drift away, but you can help make these first days as pleasant for your cousin as possible ( by ignoring his nastiness, and being as kind and good humoured as possible, even in the face of rudeness - think Ghandi!!), or you can wail about not holding the baby, and make her feel worse about the sperm donors attitude..
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 11:06 PM on Apr. 25, 2010