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We are family, but gosh she brings me down

I know the Lord gave me family and I know we should look out for one another but how long before I Look out for myself?


I have one family memeber that is always making bad choices and wants everyone to come to her side. For the last 20 years we gave her everything and then some. We moved her to different cities when she was in an abusive relationships. She moves back to the city within a week to be with him. We took custody of her kids when she couldn't afford them. She allowed us to support them and help them and insisted we give them back a few months later. She makes bad choices and we pay.

What does God want from me? How can I help her without hurting myself? I want to delete her form my FB and just move on with my life.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on Apr. 26, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (7)
  • I think almost everyone has someone like that in their life and its sad but sometimes the best way to help them without hurting ourselves is to just let them go. You will be helping her by making her take responsibility for herself and her own actions. It sounds like a horrible thing to do to just turn your back on a family member, but you can't really help her until she learns to help herself. I'll pray for you and your family and I hope everything works out for you all..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • It's called tough love.... you need to let her take responsibility of her own actions. You have been there in the past, now it's time for her to do it on her own.
    It isn't easy, but if you do not let her go, she will always depend on you to bail her out of trouble and one of these days that trouble can cause problems for you that you don't need.
    Good Luck.
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 8:22 AM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I agree with gmasboy. She needs to be responsible for herself and her own actions. Remove her as a FB friend and move on. She's an adult and it's time to start acting like one.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 10:15 AM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • WWJDFHF?

    Who would Jesus delete from his facebook?

    Why you would couch this inquiry in religious terms is beyond me.

    Decide what sort of relationship, if any, is appropriate and write down specific boundaries that you will not cross. Stop blaming your sister for your choice to engage in a very unhealthy relationship.
    Suzy_Sunshine

    Answer by Suzy_Sunshine at 11:55 AM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • The psychotic christian need to control the lives of everyone around them, instead of letting them learn by their own mistakes, is really getting out of hand. You people harp so much about "free will", but you can't stand someone else exercising theirs to get an abortion or marry their same-sex lover. And you CAN'T leash your family member up or magically give her the wisdom to make better choices. Only experience can do that. Only letting her suffer her karmic debt can teach her about wrong decisions. All you CAN do is try to protect her children from their mother's destructive path. It is likely her path will kill her eventually...or it will give her an epiphany and she will pull out of it. But it all comes down to her "free will". Doesn't it?
    witchqueen

    Answer by witchqueen at 12:48 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Wow WQ, you have said you believe in karmatic events. Well your name calling and hostility are part of the vibes you give and will receive.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Anonymous-- Wow WQ, you have said you believe in karmatic events. Well your name calling and hostility are part of the vibes you give and will receive.


    And YOUR answer to her actual question and not my personal opinion was...what???

    witchqueen

    Answer by witchqueen at 5:24 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

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