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So, my mom is an alcoholic...Help please?

I try not to butt into her business. Live and let live, all that jazz. But back in July of 2008. she was hospitalized and almost died from pancreatitis. Docs said if she drank again, she would die. Well she quit drinking for a while, but never joined any AA groups or anything like that. Then about 5 months after getting out of hospital, she started drinking again, saying it was only on special occasions. And at first, it was. But now it's back to ALL the time. Every day she makes a strong vodka and grape-fruit drink. The last month or so, she's always tired, she never wants to do anything with us on the weekend, and she's showing all the signs that she's fixing to be sick again. I know she can't live through another episode. I've tried talking to her about it nicely, and she just makes excuses and then excuses herself. She's been really depressed the last few months, and I know it's because of her drinking. My question is


Asked by renea20 at 11:20 AM on Apr. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 32 (57,144 Credits)
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Answers (6)
  • First off.. my heart breaks for you and your situation. It's really hard to know what to do because every person is different.
    I don't know how it affects everyone, but when I had a really close call, I became depressed afterwards. Normal thinking would say "you've got a second chance, live life, be happy, change what you don't like, do the things you always wanted to do" but it doesn't work that way with everyone.
    I'd talk to her about it, I'd tell her that you don't want to lose her and you'll support her every step of the way but unfortunately you can't do it for her, she has to want to live to see her grandchildren grown and to see and do all of the things that are waiting ahead for her. I don't know if your parents were still together when your died passed, or if she feels any guilt at all about that (I'm NOT blaming her in any way, it was his choice for whatever reasons), but she needs to face her problems head on.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:19 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Should I confront her about it and be stern? Should I give her an ultimatum? Maybe do an intervention? I'm so lost! Besides DH, my mom is my BEST friend. We use to see each other every other day. Now she hasn't even called me in over a week. I'm afraid she's giving up. I really can't lose her. I'm not ready for that. I have 3 LO's. (3, 2, and 10 months.) They absolutely LOVE their Nana. They'll be devastated to lose her. I can't just sit back and let her do that to them. I've already lost my dad to suicide and I feel that's what my mom is doing, too. I'm SOO angry at her! Please, what should I do?

    Answer by renea20 at 11:24 AM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Intervention. You should go to an alcoholic counslor and they will be able to help you with the steps needed for an intervention. Even if your mom has decided to give up on herself for the moment...don't give up on her!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • i agree with anon, do not give up on her!!! Sadly the truth of the matter is that she has to make the choice for herself, however that shouldnt stop you from trying to help her, i dont know if you are a sahm or not but if so maybe start making plans with her almost daily to maybe help prevent her from drinking i def agree with the intervention idea, but get help doing it, if you can have a counselor there to lead the show so to speak good luck and you and your family are in my prayers

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:15 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Yep, be stern and I agree with the PPs. There's not point in staying out of her business if she's going to die. That's live and let die. It's frustrating and she still might not let you help her, but at least you will know you did all you could. And it was worth it.

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:20 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • It's never easy dealing with an alcoholic. I'd contact someone from AA and ask them. I always believe in asking the experts.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:49 PM on Apr. 26, 2010