Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Taking custody of the elderly?

My grandma is 96, and lives on her own. She did fine with minor upkeep until a few months ago and she fell. She is up and around again, but things at her home have gone majorly down hill since. She is very stubborn, but wants me to come and take care of her constantly. I have 4 kids, and a bunch of respnsibilities. She will not let me take care of her in a way that will make it easier on me. For instance, she wants me to drive across town, pick up a check, go cash it, then to pay a bill, then back to her house for the reciept, and then back home. I will put 30-50 miles a day on my car doing things her way. Instead of letting me have a debit card on her account and pay her bills online so I dont have to drag my kids out all over town. And she will not give me enough money to shop for more that 2-3 days of groceries. So I am going to the store for her 2,3 sometimes 4 times a week. cont in answer

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Apr. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • For me to continue to help her, I am going to have to get power of attorney over her. But can not afford an attorney to tell me how to do it. She WILL NOT sign any papers willingly, she doesnt even have a will, she doesnt think anything is wrong with her, and believes she will be here "till Jesus comes back to take us all home" Which is wonderful she has that kind of faith, but not making it to easy on the rest of us. Anyone know how to file power of attorney for the elderly without hiring an attorney. I tried calling adult protective services, but they said that I help her to much for them to step in.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • OP here, she also will not let anyone clean her house, I need to be able to have someone come over and do it, it is starting to be a health hazard, and she is getting a mouse infestation. I can't spend the 20-30 hours a week to clean it that it would take.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • My heart goes out to you, but does she have any living children? If so they need to help you. I got power of attorney over my Mom but I did it thru her doctor.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:12 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • She has 3 children. My dad is disabled and not able to, her daughter has not spoken to her in over 7 years, and will not have anything to do with her no matter what I try, and hor older son doesnt believe she is going to live much longer, and he knows she is goign to raise trouble if we persue it, and he doesnt want to make her mad afraid she wont ever forgive him. I am the only one who has anything to do with her who has the ability to take care of it. She will not go to her Doctor, and hasnt been in over 2 years.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I so feel your pain. I got power of attorney over my grandmother after she had a heart attack, so I know what you're going through.

    The first thing you must do is first gain her trust. You don't want to upset her at her age and cause her problems. I know you want to take care of her but having her trust will get you power of attorney over her. Find out who her doctor is and address your concerns to him about her. Good luck...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:06 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • You need to work with her doctor and an attorney who specializes in elder care.

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:22 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.