Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what is wrong with me? **sexual content**

ok. so for the past couple of weeks i've noticed our "condom stash" has been dissapering very fast so I go to confront my hubby on cheating and he starts laughing and says "I don't want to tell you why they are gone because you will laugh" I was furious and him laughin did not help the situation well comes up that he has been masturbating and he doesn't want to make a "mess" so thats where the condoms come in. Anyway he says that the reason he has been masturbating is because he missed me (i was out of town for the weekend) but when I am here he has no intrest in having sex with me, I swear I cannot remember the last time we did have sex! My question is...what is wrong with me? What can I do to make him "want" me??? please help!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Apr. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • You're certainly not the first woman to think there is something wrong with you because your hubby is less interested... I've been through that. I really think unless you've gained 100 pounds recently or something, it's the hubby. Is he watching porn? That can sometimes cause a man to lose interest in his partner, assuming he's not cheating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Sorry, but I had never heard of a guy masturbating with a condom. Unless that's just something he likes, like he like the feel of a condom. I don't mean to alarm you or anything, but that sounds a little fishy to me. I would defiantly look into this situation a little deeper.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • very true, sounds fishy that hes using a condom and you def need to investigate the situation....dont say anything to him in regards of what you might know.....get your evidence first then say soething to him good luck and i hope its nothing, and there is nothing wrong with you at all, so dont blame yourself for anything.

    Answer by brandoneaglemom at 3:02 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Masturbating with a condom??? Riiiight. No way, condom reduce sensitivity so I highly doubt it. His story doesn't sound true to me. Think about this, you are out of town and come back to condoms missing! C'mon!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • ok i know it sounds fishy trust me it sounds fishy to me also. But it sounds so much better when he tells me I was just masturbating. But i've checked everything emails texts phone calls everything and I can't find anything except for the condom situation idk what else to do??!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • im not sure what to tell you, i mean it sounds alittle out there to me where as most men HATE condoms during sex let alone solo ya know? however, i mean if when he was a teen and his dad had the "talk" with him he suggested that to not make a mess maybe he has always done that? i mean is your husband a complete idiot (not trying to bash him or be mean or anything) but do you think he would be soooo lazy as to just use ya'lls condoms instead of purchasing his own if he were having an affair or something? sometimes it seems like my hubby losses interest in sex i go buy a sexy sexy outfit and put it on when i get home, hehe then the cant keep his hands off me lol good luck and i hope its not a case of cheating, dont be so quick to think hes cheating i mean is there any other reason you would think he was?

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 3:18 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • To me that is one lame excuse. I have known a lot of men in my life, and none of them have ever masturbated with a condom on. NEVER. All he has to do is put a towel under him so I say he's lying. Or at least if it were me in the situation I wouldn't believe him. Especially since you two are not having sex. He may be watching too much porn, which is why porn is not accepted in my marriage. I wouldn't want to jump to the immediate conclusion that he is cheating, but it just sounds off to me. Have you asked him why he masturbates when you are gone but doesn't have sex with you while you are home? My hubby tried that whole "I watch porn because I miss you and you aren't here" crap with me and I did not accept that. If he can't wait for me to get home then he didn't deserve me when I was home. You ask what can you do to make him want you? I am a firm believer that we cannot make anyone else do or act or say (continued)

    Answer by TarLion at 5:19 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • (continued) or feel anything. The only thing you have control over is yourself. Sure you can try to sex it up a little, put on some lingerie and what not, be aggressive towards him, but if he doesn't feel it for you then nothing you do will MAKE him want you. And to be perfectly clear - there is nothing "wrong" with you. But the responsibility back onto him. Tell him you want him, you still feel desire for him (if this is true) and that you feel he doesn't want to be with you and how it makes you feel. Make him take his share of the responsibility. Oh and a p.s. on the whole "I miss you so I masturbate" thing - is when my hubby tried to say that, he had watched a pay-per-view porn movie while I had gone to WalMart for groceries. So that blew his whole rationale out of the water. Say what? You missed me so much for that half hour you had to watch porn? hahahaha, how stupid do they think we are.

    Answer by TarLion at 5:23 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • as for the girls who say guys who don't like to masturbate using condoms....I know plenty of guys who get off wearing condoms, it doesn't feel like their hand and it is lubed up inside

    Answer by mysilentmorning at 6:09 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • first off first ANON is an IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who gives a damn is she DID gain weight that is NO dang excuse to cheat.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:21 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Boring relationship???? HELP...

Next question overall (Pregnancy)