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Did your husband support you through all your pregnancy anxieties and fears? Or did he get annoyed and ignore you?

My husband will see me looking blue and ask me what is wrong. I will tell him that I am having a hard time with pregnancy hormones. I feel emotional and kind of crabby. I may tell him that I am feeling nervous about all the changes happening at once and it is keeping me from sleeping some nights. He will look at me and then start talking about something else. He will start watching tv or something. I am not asking him to do anything but why ask me if you don't even respond? A simple we are in this together and a hug would be nice. If I get upset with him he asks why and I will say that it confuses me when he asks how I am but ignores the answe. He usually cuts me off to say he is here for me. I just think then why are you being this way. (Idon't say that though) What would you think or do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Apr. 26, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (9)
  • He probably really doesnt know what to say or do. He might think he's doing his part just by asking how youre doing. On top of that, youre probably really extra sensitive.FOr some men, I think they need things directly spelled out to them. Tell him if you look down and he doesnt have the slightest clue as to what to say to make you feel better, say nothing at all and just give you a hug.
    Mine thinks that my pregnancy hormones are the funniest things in the world sometimes and will hug me but laugh at me at the same time. Sometimes it makes me laugh too because I see myself in a lighter way and sometimes I get really ticked and feel like he's mocking me,lol.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:25 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • OP. I am realistic about my emotions. That is why I tell him honestly what is going on. I don't take it out on him or anything. i just don't understand why you would ask someone what is wrong and then not say something, anything in response to let them know you were listening. It just seems rude to me. He hates it if i don't give him feedback but he is clueless that i may would like feedback too. Or he can just do nothing. He could just sit with me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Add to the end of your statement about your emotions that you could really use a hug. Don't forget that men are dense and our society has told them that emotions are not manly, so he's not sure how to respond. Tell him what you want/need, and he'll more than likely give it to you. Just be blunt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • My hormones would change and I would snap in 1 second and be ok the next.. he would get frusterated with me and whin to my mom.. lol well being my mom she jumped all over him and told him to suck it up! ( I love my mom.. lol ) She explained everything that was goin on with me to him and that he needs to be way more supportive... Granted this is our 2nd child and he did the same stuff with our first.. some guys just get jelious of the baby and the attention of the mom, it happens.... With this pregnancy and after a talk with my mom he has been THE BEST husband :) he calms me down and tells me all that mushy stuff to make me feel better!
    I feel your pain and it happens to a lot of women..
    randilinn

    Answer by randilinn at 3:52 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • My hubby did the same thing but it was because he just didn't know what to say... They are men! They don't know anything about pregnancy and hormones lol. My hubby and I started reading "What To Expect When You Are Expecting" together and we both learned alot. He would even get excited when something would happen that the book had already told us about.
    missvicky

    Answer by missvicky at 4:01 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • My hubby doesn't always know how to handle my emotional states, but he does support me in the ways he knows how. He may not be able to help much with my random tears or breakdowns (other than awkwardly standing there patting my back), but he helps with the housework and doesn't get on to me for sleeping extra instead of having alone time with him.

    Guys don't always know how to handle everything either. I mean, WE don't know how we feel a lot of times; how can we expect our hubbies to?
    mickstinator

    Answer by mickstinator at 4:29 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • my b/f is even worse he tells me to stop using this pregnancy as an excuse. all i do is ask for his help with lifting and other tough stuff and he calls me a baby and a whiner.
    Kelleyriley

    Answer by Kelleyriley at 8:14 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • OP: I don't expect him to do anything. That is just it. I just want him to be himself. But I also don't want him to ask me what is wrong and then ignore me. Because he is a very sensitive guy. He does NOT fit that stereo type you say about men. He is very sensitive and in tune with emotions. He is actually too emotional for me. I am more like the stereo typical guy. I put on a tough front. But the pregnancy hormones have been kicking my butt. I guess that is what the real issue is then with him. I guess because I am usually the tough one it has thrown him to see me like this. Maybe he is unsure how to respond to it. But it is certainly not because he is a 'man' and can't handle feelings. I don't think you should stereo type men. Thanks for the comments though. Me not agreeing with you actually helped me see this objectively. I am going to go hug my husband now.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • That is almost funny. My husband is the same way. Originally I'm tough, I don't cry over anything. We've been together 5 years on and off and he has only seen me cry like twice. My husband is senistive too. You know it's just something knew to them, when he asks me what's wrong, I'll tell him and he'll walk away, or watch tv, or do something else, and my hormones go from sad to rage in a second flat, he finds it really funny it is funny when you look at it after it all happens. Like us we aren't sure what to make of our emotions, so it's hard for them to do the same. Things you don't want your husband asking or saying is "What's wrong"and "Your not fat...............*silence*...your just pregnant"And no honey I didn't see that beautiful blond walking by lol Try to get a humor part of it, at least for now anyway :)GL
    skylarsmommy24

    Answer by skylarsmommy24 at 11:24 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

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