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im at the end of my rope please help!!

Ok heres the situation, i have 3 kids full time (my 2 daughters and my step son) they are 6,7, and 8 ss is 8 my dds are 6 and 7, my home is less of a home and more of a warzone! its CONSTANT fighting!! I try breaking it out, i try punishing all invovled, i try making them stay away from each other, i have even at one point grounded them from each other, im not even joking they werent even allowed to talk to each other for a week, i have tried taking things away, i have tried sending to rooms, i have tried everything i can think of, the main problem seems to be my 6 yr old she is just a nightmare child totally out of control, doesnt listen doesnt do as she is told,picks fights, i dont know what to anymore i cant take it, 5 minutes with these kids and i have a wicked headache! what can i do????

 
mommie2twogirls

Asked by mommie2twogirls at 3:35 PM on Apr. 26, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (17)
  • Your six year old sounds like she has some problems that may be bigger than something you can handle on your own. Have you considered seeking counseling for her? Could there be something causing the anger? I don't know if you are even in a situation to seek counseling, in these times money is tight for all. Does she communicate her feelings in other ways (other than anger or violence)? Have you tried talking to her one on one about why she acts that way when she isn't in an angry place? I know she is only six but she should be able to articulate to you why she is so angry with some help from you. There are some great books that talk about feelings, would she let you read on to her and you discuss them that way? This is a tough situation and it sounds like you have your hands full, wish I had some truly great advice for you.
    MrsManners

    Answer by MrsManners at 3:57 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • i have 3 kids full time ...

    umm doesnt everyone have their kids full time? lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • My younger 2 girls are 7 and 8. My approach is entirely different then yours. I don't seperate them. If they fight over something, I take the something away and tell them that if they want to play with it that they better learn to get along. They've learned to comprimise. I even tied their hands together once so they couldn't get away from the other one. It turned into a big game and they didn't want to be untied, lol.
    Maybe you could try my approach and see if that helps?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • no i have 4 kids total, however wee only have my step daughter when her mother sees fit to pull the stick out of her behind, we are waiting on the courts for a court date but no luck so far, so no not everyone has their kids full time, seeings how the make up of kids in my house is ALL children with a parent living outside of the house (my dd's father and my ss's mother) neither of their other parents are invovled at all so we have them full time, but thanks for thinking im such an idiot that i dont realize kids are full time, of course such an idiot reply would come from an anon poster huh? seriously to all of you anons, if you can contribute to the question just keep your mouth shut! i didnt come here to have people act like they have sticks up their butts, i came looking for suggestions to help take care of this problem
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 3:48 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • "My younger 2 girls are 7 and 8. My approach is entirely different then yours. I don't seperate them. If they fight over something, I take the something away and tell them that if they want to play with it that they better learn to get along. They've learned to comprimise. I even tied their hands together once so they couldn't get away from the other one. It turned into a big game and they didn't want to be untied, lol.
    Maybe you could try my approach and see if that helps?"

    while ive tried taking the thing they are fighting over away, i have not tried tieing them together.. mmmm maybe i should, part of my concern with that though is my 6 yr old can get violent she will beat up the others but still i may have to try this
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 3:50 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • ok maybe i should be clearer with this the problem truely seems to be 100% my 6 yr! i am adding this while listening to her throw things at her door, kick the door and walls, yell and scream because she got sent to her room the other two (my oldest and my step son) listen pretty well, but i am sooooo dreading summer
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 3:51 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I would first see if her (6yo) doctor can find anything wrong, then I would move onto a psychologist. My 6yo grew out of the worst of his behavior at home a few months into K, but his behavior at school is bad so we take him to a therapist.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 3:58 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Other than behavior, does your 6 yo seem to have other issues? I thought my oldest was just hardheaded and a handful at that age, and she had not outgrown some things I expected from a toddler. It turned out she had ADHD and really did need more than just more discipline. If your 6 yo is having issues at school too I would definitely check with your pediatrician and see about getting a referal for an evaluation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • ok now i have a friend suggesting i make her kneel on uncooked rice on the tile floor with her arms out in th air..... mmmmm that sounds like child abuse to me! am i the only one? just wondering i dont want to be throwing out a suggestion that sounds bad to me but not to many others lol. as far as counseling goes, i have gotten her in to counseling at school with the guidance counselor but that just started, i am in serious fear of the summer! we cant really afford counseling beyond that
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 4:12 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • she is a perfect angel at school and at church, when i have posted about it on my facebook looking for help from friends or suggestions they are like "hailey no shes an angel" but its not just me she behaves this way for, shes like this with my husband and my parents too, my parents dont want her coming over when i am not there to deal with her, my husband doesnt want to be left alone with her because he cant handle her (ha not that i can)
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 4:15 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

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