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he say im a bad mom and doesnt want more kids.

we have talked about haveing more kids in the futre, maybe when my 2 y/o is 3 or 5 and he says thats to soon, and that he doesnt want anymore kids? and when ever my dh is unhappy with the way i parent our dd, or is un happy in general w me, he says ima bad mom and i shouldnt of had a kid. what is wrong? any advice?

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Asked by jlouise03 at 3:42 PM on Apr. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (349 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Sounds like you need a new husband not another child

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 3:48 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • i agree with the pp, i wouldnt have another kid with a man whom calls me a bad parent.

    Answer by mywonderyears at 3:50 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I don't know... are you a good mom?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • It sounds like he has problems dealing with stress. It sounds like he gets stressed or frustrated and takes it out on you by making nasty comments. Unless he learns new ways to deal with things I'm afraid he's always going to say mean things to you, and it could get worse. He has to know this is a hurtful thing to say, but just in case he doesn't realize it you need to let him know how it makes you feel. I would let him know these comments hurt you and ask him to please find another outlet for his stress. If he doesn't care and continues to do it anyway you need to think very hard about whether you want to live with someone who talks to you like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • ya, ima good parent, sometimes when she doesnt listen ill raise my voice and shes going througha stage, where she doesnt listen, doesnt put anything away and takes a fit, i mean every parent loses a temper sometimes, she 2, but hes always saying im a bad mom. i dont think i am and alota family and friends say im great w her. i want 4 kids , atleast 2 il compromise, but he just avoids the conversation and when i keep saying ages he says its to soon and then ignores me and doesnt say anything, i just think he doesnt want more kids.. hes 23 im 21..

    Answer by jlouise03 at 3:55 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • See, I don't necessarily agree with the 2 pp's. NOT saying it's ok for him to call you a bad mom, but she is his kid too and he has a right to give his opinion about how she's raised and disciplined. And maybe he tried disagreeing with you and you got defensive? I'm not trying to say anything bad about you. Whenever DH disagrees with something I do, I sometimes get defensive too. It's easy to get defensive over something we're so passionate about. (Being a good mom.) So try to look at the situation objectively and decide if you're over-reacting or if he really is being an ass. If he is being an ass, then tell him how it makes you feel when he makes comments like that. He may not even realize how inconsiderate he's being. Ya'll have a child together, and IMO you shouldn't leave him over a comment like that UNTIL you have tried to talk to him about it.

    Answer by renea20 at 3:56 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • judging from you other post, about him bringing up seperation each time you fight, id say having more kids is the last thing you 2 need to worry about.

    Answer by mywonderyears at 3:57 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • i agree with anon. He probably knows that parenting is something you take pride in and this is a way to get under your skin. Unless you are a bad parent and are doing something???? you could try to talk to him about it but likely he wont change.

    Answer by shay1130 at 3:58 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I think you and your hubby need to work on your marriage befor eyou have more kids. Does he have a reason for saying you are a bad mom? If yes what areas do you need to work on. If he is just being a jerk then you need to work on your relationship and he shouldnt be talking to you like that. If you really do have areas to work on then you should work on them but you guys should be able to sit down and discuss a disciple plan so you are on the same page. he should be able to talk to you kindly about issues without just puttng you down in the moment. kwim? he may have a valid message just a poor way of saying it.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:01 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Maybe he is right and you aren't a good mom. You talk about raising your voice to a 2 year old and about your children not "listening". You probably mean obeying. If you were an effective mom you wouldn't be raising your voice and your kids would obey. I suggest trying to improve your mothering skills. Read some books, take classes, go to conferences, ect. Without Spanking or Spoiling by Elizabeth Crary is a good first book.


    Answer by Gailll at 4:20 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

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