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Does your hubby question you about money that you spent? would he make a big deal ab $10??

so i didnt take any money out of the house (i only have $40 for the next 2 weeks!) but hubby has plenty (no bills are due until the 1st, and he gets paid again before that, he had $400 in his wallet, $500 in savings and $500 in checking) and he gave me $100 to get some gas and i asked for $5 to buy a movie for us to watch, so i put 20 in the tank and 10 in my pocket for when i bought the movie and i wanted to buy something to eat. so i left the $70 for him, and when he got in, he counted it and asked where the rest of his money went...i told him i got gas, he asked where the other 15 was bc it only looked like i got $15 in gas, so i clarified that i got 20 gas, and he still asks, so wheres the other $10, did he forget that i asked for some money?? so i gave it back to him and said well i guess i wont get my movie since its like that, and i asked if i could have $2 to get a cheeseburger, he (sarcastically) said no, i was mad!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Apr. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Wow. No, my husband does not question me about what I spend. I take care of the accounts and all the bill paying, so he doesn't really even know much about our finances unless he gets online to check. He is the one that spends too much money at times, I am frugal and not materialistic, so he doesn't have to worry about me going out spending money, but even if I did, he wouldn't say anything as long as I was not putting us in debt.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 5:26 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Sorry he sounds way too controlling for me. I know not everyone works, I know you probably have little kids and have to stay home with them, and that's okay and I admire you for doing so. But because of what you are going through, that is one of the reasons I have always worked and I have always had my own money. My kids are grown and out of the house, I am married to my husband of five years so he is not the father of my kids. We both work, we put the money in one checking account, I do the budget and pay the bills and let him know what is being paid. I tell him this is how much money we have left over after all the bills, and that's that. Never ever do either of us have to jusitfy where 10 or 20 bucks went. If it were more, 40 or 50 or above, then yeah, we tell each other where it went or ask before it is spent. But it is never an issue and we never argue about it.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 5:26 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • KTMOM - exactly. As long as the bills are paid and we have food and things are taken care of, it just isn't a big deal. That is a control freak issue to me, worrying about where $10 went and that it only "looked" like you put $15 in gas. With the gas prices these days how does anyone know the difference between what $15 or $20 LOOKS like on the gas gauge? That five dollars just isn't going to make that big of a difference. So it sounds like your husband has other issues going on.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 5:29 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • No... If my husband asked me where "his" money went I would have freaked out. It is not his money it is our money. We have joint accounts and both have access to all of our funds. We both generally know where all the money goes but he would never ask me where or on what I spent $10 on. If it would have been a few hundred dollars + then he probably would have asked. Even though I am a stay at home mom there is not "his" and "hers" in our house.

    laciD

    Answer by laciD at 5:29 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • mine does but he's got trust issues about money from his growing up.

    its just him....and I've learned that he will ask about every penny. with us its not a mistrust its just one of his 'quirks'
    hypermamaz

    Answer by hypermamaz at 5:39 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • No. After 10 years of marriage, we STILL (and always will) have "yours, mine, and ours" bank accounts. About 80% of our paychecks goes into the "ours" (joint) account and is primarily for paying bills, the other 20% is for the "yours and mine" accounts, and is our "mad money." The money spent from those accounts never needs to be explained.

    I think having your own "stash" is important. Of course, we "share" our little stashes if need be--and I don;t even charge interest! LOL :)
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:39 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • We have our separate money so I don't answer to him for anything
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:46 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • My hubby will look through the bank log and just ask what I bought if its a charge from an unfamiliar place but he has never made a "big deal" over anything. He knows I shop smart for things that we need and occasionally stuff that we want for fun.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 5:58 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Never. Not when I was working, and not now that I'm a SAHM. He knows that I am responsible, I make sure the bills are paid, if I want something I get it.

    My ex husband flipped every time I spent any money - even though I made twice as much as him, the bills were paid, and no one was doing without. One of the biggest reasons I divorced him.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 6:22 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • My dh is exactly like that, I haven't touched a dime in probably a year, I'm not even on the bank account.

    -xoxo-

    Answer by -xoxo- at 6:28 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

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