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Please help me..

My husband has no financial sense at all. We are about to have another baby and we are already always broke. We have enough for diapers but never enough to go out, not even to McDonald's. Well he smokes and I have finally convinced him to quit because we really can't afford it.

He now has this bright idea that once he quits (planning on May 1st) he will buy a motorcycle to help with gas! So we are going to add a $80 bike payment so we can save $50 on gas. Obviously the kids and I can't get on the thing so the only time it would help with gas is when he goes out alone.

How do I teach him to be responsible with money?? He told me I was the bi***est person in the world, all because I talk realistically and he hates when I point out the flaws in his "great ideas".

Answer Question
 
imamommmmyyy

Asked by imamommmmyyy at 6:24 PM on Apr. 26, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 7 (172 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Maybe you could go to a financial counsellor together? If either of you work at a job that has an employee assistance program, they can usually arrange that for you. Or try your bank. Tell them you want to come in to talk about saving and meeting your expenses. If you do it at a bank, it should be free and they will set up a plan for you. If you can get your husband in the door!
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 6:29 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Write down your total income and itemize ALL your CURRENT expenses--even those "hidden" expenses like banking fees, sales tax, maintenance, garaging, upkeep, registration/licensing fees, etc. just for the motorcycle. Will this extra vehicle increase your auto insurance? Your life insurance?! Then add in the extra cost of another child--including hospital bills! And top it all off with how IMPRACTICAL this purchase will be!

    Maybe show him how just SAVING that "extra" $80/month can add up quickly into a nice little emergency fund with interest! Tell him he should think of the $80 as not being available. And if you can save that $80, maybe you can save more each month--like increasing it to $100+?!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 6:33 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • DAVE RAMSEY, HE TEACHES YOU HOW TO DEAL WITH HUBBY AND FINANCES.
    IraqiVetWife

    Answer by IraqiVetWife at 7:03 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I agree with reading Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover. Also there is a group here called Dave Ramsey Fans. You can post your dilemma there and get some good advice. Check the book out at the library (because you don't have money to spare to buy it). He has a show on Fox Business at 8pm EST, a website, and a radio show. He give lots of good, practical, realistic financial advice and he also tells you how to approach spouses who don't see finances the same as you. Good luck!
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 8:56 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • You have no money, but are having another child. IMO, that's not a very responsible or practical decision. You're in a tough situation. You need a strict budget. You also need to better decisions. Sorry about being blunt.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • sit down with him & show him all your bills/ incoming money ask him to help you make a budget so you guys can save money for the extras' in life.. make it seem your not against the bike & are trying to find away to afford it.. this should work if his priorities are straight.. I think he should take the cigarette money & put it into savings for emergencies.. does he have a older man he looks up to that could talk to him on this , also.
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 10:35 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • OP here- ANON 9:46, we were not trying for another child. I was on the pill and we were using condoms. Sorry life isn't picture perfect and apparently this baby was meant to be because we were doing everything we could to prevent and he is still on his way. Its wrong to make assumptions that we are irresponsible without knowing the facts.

    Everyone else thank you for the advice. I will try showing hubby an itemized budget and I will check out Dave Ramsey too.
    imamommmmyyy

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 4:35 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • your hubby needs to grow up. i would b upset too. make sure u get some birthcontrol after your baby is born so u dont have to b the one to have, care for and support the kids along with him. i think that u need some help with him in getting the point accross as u need to b ready for a new baby before it comes. i agree with u that a bike payment is a bad idea. plus it gvs him an excuse to go where evr and leave u and the kids home alone with on money. is there anyone he may listen too ?? someone in his family that could talk to him and point out that he needs to b a responsible husband and father?
    i feel for u. my first husband was just lk this and i tried it all. we hv bn divorced for years and when he remarried almost immediately he did the same thing to his second wife. some men never learn. i wish u good luck but if i were u i would look into some day care and a divorce lawyer asap.Its not sp easy to actually live on love.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • ...continuing. i do really understand how tough it is to b married to a man lk this. it he doesnt show signs of improvement with your suggestions and continues to call u names when u r trying to get your family on firm financial footing i dont have any other suggeations and as i said i hv done it all and still there was no change in my exs behavior. so dont wait too long after that baby comes. get yourself and the kids together and try to figure out how to make a life for yrself and yr kids. remember if he takes out a loan for that bike u will in many srares b just as responsible for it as he is. so as i said good luck== u need to b thinking of how to save your self and your kids from an irresponsible man and then u have a chance at a better life. i did it and am very happy now. so very sorry for your situation but u can save yourself and yr kids if u act and think of them and yrself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

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