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My dh and I are separated. We just had a baby boy 5 months ago that was 3 months premature. His mom only came up to the hospital once to see our son. MIL and I was cool when we were dating but once we got married it was a different story. Do I call her so she can see her grandson or leave it as is?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Apr. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I'd let her come to you. No need for you to push. If she's only come once to see the baby 5 months ago............then it's up to her to decide if she wants to be in his life or not and contact you.

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 10:00 PM on Apr. 26, 2010


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • let her deal with the time she is missing. it's seriously her loss.

    Answer by juliness at 10:01 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Leave it alone, but it could be awkward calling her especially since you and your husband are seperated.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I would extend the olive branch.

    Not knowing the details of your separations is it definitely one persons fault??

    Maybe she is having a hard time trying to figure out where her loyalties lay.  But it will behoove you to be nice because she will forever be your childs grandma and it would be wonderful to have her in your childs life.  Both of you will benefit from a loving grandparent.

    I hope you and your husband can work this out... what a sad sad way to start you life as a parent.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Hmmm... the PP's may be right, but if it were me, I think I might call just once. My FIL was estranged from DH for many years and even though they are in touch now, he never makes any effort. But I've met him and I think he just doesn't know how, not that he doesn't care. Our son only has one grandparent besides him (my father is deceased and so is DH's mother), so it's important for me to give FIL a chance, even if I have to go out of my way a little. Also because it's a link that may open up a closer connection between DH and his dad. I don't know what your situation is.... maybe your baby has plenty of family, but if you think it would be beneficial for your son to have his grandmother in his life, than I would say you as a mother should try to make that happen, for your son even if you wouldn't do it for MIL. Good luck!

    Answer by Adelicious at 10:07 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • If I were you, I'd leave it as is. If she wanted to see him bad enough she'd contact you. I'm in a similar situation with my 4 month old. It seems like I always have to be the one who does the contacting just to have my MIL badmouth my other family members. I'm not going to waste my time with the dumb bitch anymore.

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 10:16 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • let her know the door is open and let the rest be up to her

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 10:16 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I'd send an invitation for her to come see the child. She'll call if she wants to see you and the child.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:16 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I would call her. Just because you guys are separated doesn't mean that it's not still her grandchild, she will want to see him eventually. I would just do it especially if you have the ability to get along with her.

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 10:31 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

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