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Moms of onlies: are your kids a little spoiled?

I think my daughter is. She's 22 months and if she asks for stuff around the house, and it's a reasonable request, I give it to her. But I don't buy her toys everytime we go to the store-maybe a few times per month.

I don't want her to be spoiled, but I'm not sure how to prevent it from happening. I don't think I should just deny her requests "just because". KWIM?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Apr. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • My son is 15 and an "only", and yes, he is "spoiled", but not in a bad way. Yes, we've given him things that he's wanted and maybe a few things he didn't know he wanted (lol), but he is not a selfish, mean or demanding child. In fact, he will be the first person to offer to share because that's what he was taught. When a toy was outgrown, it was given away to charity. When new toys came into the house, something old had to leave and he could choose where. Holidays & birthdays were opportunities to "share the wealth", not just get a bunch of new stuff. If he wanted something in particular and couldn't wait for a holiday or birthday, then he earned it on his own time.

    Giving your child material things does not spoil them as long as you give them the immaterial "things", like values & a sense of responsibility for others, at the same time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • i agree with you. my dd is probably a bit spoiled, but i think it's mostly just that she gets all the attention in our house. we will be having another baby this fall and i'm worried she is not going to take it so well.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 10:37 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Hmmm... My "only" is just a baby, so I'm not experienced BUT.... I think the reason to deny requests is because of precisely what you're talking about: giving them everything they asks gives them a feeling of entitlement. IMO buying a child a toy three times a month is too often. I think when I was growing up, my parents were just the opposite of what you said... They didn't want to grant our request "just because". We got toys on birthdays and at Christmas, and I think it's more special that way. I have friends who have made a commitment never to deny themselves anything they want to buy for their son. I'm exactly the opposite. I want my son to appreciate what he has, and not expect a constant inflow of more.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 10:40 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Answered at 10:40 PM on Apr. 26, 2010 by: Adelicious
    Hmmm... My "only" is just a baby, so I'm not experienced BUT.... I think the reason to deny requests is because of precisely what you're talking about: giving them everything they asks gives them a feeling of entitlement. IMO buying a child a toy three times a month is too often. I think when I was growing up, my parents were just the opposite of what you said... They didn't want to grant our request "just because". We got toys on birthdays and at Christmas, and I think it's more special that way. I have friends who have made a commitment never to deny themselves anything they want to buy for their son. I'm exactly the opposite. I want my son to appreciate what he has, and not expect a constant inflow of more.



    OP
    I'm sorry I didn't clarify. By "toys" I meant a pack of stickers or some crayons...little things like that. I put a stop to the toys awhile ago! :-)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • My son is 14 and and only...he is/was less spoiled than kids I know that had many siblings. You can give in to reasonable requests...but, do not let them rule the roost. Sure, toys here and there are fine, especially if they are rewads for good behavior and not just because. Make sure your child know the rules of conduct and how to follow them. And that asking does not always equal recieveing.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:08 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • My son is an only and hecis by far not spoiled. He does get our full attention, we are able to easily make all his school events, his sports games, and afford nice things - for us and for him. With two he would not be in a private school, we would have to limit how many community memberships we have ( the YMCA, zoo, museum's...ect). He also is an only granchild so his grandparents spend tons of time with him. He is spoiled with love. I make no appologies that he has nicer things. I work hard and so does my husband. We waited until we could be in a better position to have a child. Every day I have people come up to me and tell me how amazingly good he is...some even ask advice. I do know two would be an energy drain for me personally.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:03 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

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