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Inappropriate behavior in daycare/Preschool

Situation: My 4 year old daughter told me that a boy in her class keeps following her in the bathroom & he touched her vagina. She told the teacher what he did & the teacher made him sit in time out. I was super upset by this, for one that it happen to begin with then for two nobody at the daycare told me this happened. Which means if I wasn't told then I'm sure this boys parents were not told & they should be. The director at the daycare was shocked that she heard nothing about this from the teachers. She did tell me something i thought was strange that in Missouri (IDK about anywhere else), bathrooms do not have to have locks or even doors for children under age of 6. What do you think about this situation or the regulation on this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on Apr. 26, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (9)
  • At four I would say he was just curious about girls. I'd be more upset that the teachers weren't watching either one well enought to know that the boy was in there.

    Answer by ArkTech at 10:50 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • Never heard of that rule, it's crazy. Have you gone over the situation with your daughter and you're sure what happened really did happen? If so, I'd talk to the boy's Mother or insist the director do so. What happened is wrong and why aren't one of the teachers following the girls to the ladies' room to make sure everything is okay? Our teachers always stood in the hallway when one kid went to the potty.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I would be pissed. At four I agree he was probably just curious, but I would be violent that they didn't tell you about it. His parents need to know just as much as you need to know what your daughter is doing at school! I would either have explicit instructions that your daughter ONLY go to the restroom by herself or at the least that a daycare teacher be watching over them and that you find out for sure if that little boy EVER does that again. I would make it very clear with your daughter that NO one is to touch her except you or daddy or doctors in RARE occasions and that she is to RUN not walk to the nearest adult and ask to call YOU.

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 10:54 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • I would be very pissed. I would think that the teachers should be supervising bathroom visits. Is a 4 year old okay to go to the bathroom on her own? I don't think so. Where were the teachers when this boy followed her? He shouldn't have been out of their site. I would look for another pschool.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Apr. 26, 2010

  • my daughter is 4 and there are locks on their bathrooms in preschool. They also use boys and girls rooms. And yes using a school bathroom that is age appropraite is fine alone. I would question the teacher infront of the director and find out why nothing was said. I'm sure yes its just curiousity at this age but both sets of parents and the school need to be aware this is going on and he needs to be watched. It should not be allowed.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 8:11 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • In CT there are no locks and teachers are supposed to be "supervising" if any child is in the bathroom. A teacher needs to be standing at least by the door so she can see what is going on in there. Can you imagine the child who likes to play with toilet paper or paper towels clogging up the toilet. AND just to prevent the type of behavior op posted. It IS "normal" behavior, just exploring, seeing what's the same and what's different between boys and girls. What is not "normal" in my opinion is that the teachers didn't tell you or the director. I am a childcare health consultant. I'll look up the laws in Missouri for you. PM if you'd like me to answer privately.

    Answer by kjrn79 at 5:18 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Chapter 62—Licensing Rules for Group Day Care Homes and Child Day Care Centers 19 CSR 30-62

    "5. Locks or latches shall not be used on
    bathroom or bathroom stall doors used by
    children below the first grade.
    6. Children shall be monitored while in
    the bathroom."

    I think you should go back to the director and ask how she is going to address the "failure to monitor". She doesn't have to give you details of what the outcome of her actions are, just that she is going to DO SOMETHING.

    good luck and contact me if you want.

    Answer by kjrn79 at 6:08 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • I wouldn't want locks on the doors in case he'd lock the door and do more

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:00 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • i would be livid but i got a son and if he was to to that i would still be livid for what my son did

    Answer by elias1mamma22 at 12:40 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

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