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Would it hurt more if...

A cheating mate was actually in love with the person he cheated on you with? Or would it hurt more if it was just sex between the two? Would you forgive it if it were true love and not just a fling?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:11 AM on Apr. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I think it would hurt more if he was in love with her. Neither could be easily forgiven, but if he loves this other woman, I love him enough t olet him go. I wouldnt force either of us to stay in an unhappy marriage. If it was just sex of course I would be hurt, but I think it would be easier to forgive, if I was of a mind to forgive it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Hurt more if he loved her, I've been cheated on. And understand that although its not right, men will someitmes just want to stick it into whatevers availiable and giving it up. Not that I accept that, and its hard enough to when or if they do cheat, but when you hear they're telling other ppl they "love" them or would date them if they'd have the chance etc. then that really hurts even MORE! But then again, with men you never freaking know becuase they'll tell a girl about ANYTHING to get them in bed "Oh I'm in love with you" "You're out of my league" or "I would leave my wife/girl for you"...just to see if the girl will give it up...so as i said you NEVER really know whats going on in that head of theirs - other than the obvious, men are many time extremely selfish!! :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • It would hurt more if he loved her but in the end the fact that he cheated is all I need to know, he can work through his feelings alone.
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 4:10 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • I think it would be worse if he loved her for me - although ... how could he throw away a relationship for "just sex" with someone who wasn't even important -that would be crushing too. Hang on... as I'm typing I am changing my mind - I think I would be angrier over just sex- that would mean he decided a ten second orgasm was more important than our marriage. If he thought he was in love with her, at least I could see that he had some actual feelings that took him in that direction, rather than just a stiff penis and opportunity
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 4:47 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Its one thing for my mate to give in to lust. Its another thing to give his heart to someone. I'd kill me if he did that. I know it time i'd be better but man that would hurt.
    4xsthetrouble

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 4:52 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • I think it would hurt as bed either way.

    If he fell in love, that would crush me because it would mean that all this true love for me he spouted for so long was a sham.

    But, it would hurt just as bad if it were just a fling, because i would learn that the man i fell in love with is not the man i thought he was. That would be extremely painful to me. I would feel like i have been well.....cheated.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:51 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • FORGIVE IT IT WAS TRUE LOVE, HA KNOW HE'D BE OUT THE DOOR SO FAST I IT EVEN GOT NEAR THE POIT I FIND OUT HES IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. PLUS HE SHOULD BE WITH HIS TRUE LOVE I WOULDNT WANT SOME STANKIN LOSER TO JUST LIE AND THINK I WANT TO HAVE HALF OF WHAT HES GIVING SOMEONE ELSE. THERES NOT NO MAN THAT DAM SPECIAL!!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • If it were true love I'd help him pack. It would hurt more if he had serious feelings for her. Just sex doesn't bother me.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:20 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • It would hurt more if he loved her. I've cheated before, but not because I didn't love or wasn't satisfied with the man I was with. It was simply just because I was addicted to the thrill. I know it's was wrong, but part of me couldn't help it. Sometimes I think I need counseling for it. It was only with the same man, and I was able to say no to others, but for some reason I couldn't resist him. I think maybe it's because who he was made it even more dangerous and thrilling. Some people don't intend to hurt others and just need help for their actions (I'll admit, I'm one of them) Hope this helps you understand more of why maybe it happened, that is, considering he still really loves you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • it would hurt more if he loved her. but it would be easier to forgive him for it if he loved her.
    mrsbean08

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 12:18 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

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