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How do you deal with a deployment to Afghanistan/Iraq?

My DH and I have been married for 3 years in November. In 2007 when we married, 3 days after we married, he went to Basic. Then to AIT and from there, got his first duty station deployed to Korea. He was there for a year and came for Christmas in 2008. He's been home currently since April of last year, so he's been home for a little over a year. He got news today that he is on the list to deploy by next year to Afghanistan. He's a dental specialist. I could deal with him being in Korea cause I knew he wasn't in an immediate warzone. What do I do to deal with this? I'm so scared for him. I'm terrified of getting that knock on my door. How do I deal with this???

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Asked by thomasfam14 at 1:24 PM on Apr. 27, 2010 in Politics & Current Events

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I thought we were pulling our troops out this Fall? Why would he still need to go? If he does have to go send his laptop with him so you can webcam and talk every day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Lap top will be useless. The internet is so shitty over there and if you happened to have brought your lap top you have to pay 125 bucks a month to have internet access in your room. when ever you get you room, it took a month maybe a little more before my hubby and his group was put in permanent housing or whatever they call it. I assume that your husbands MOS requires him to stay on base. Bases are normally pretty damn safe. I know how you feel though my husband is Infantry every morning I wake up wondering if he survived the night. You just have to stop and breathe if you constantly worry about the negative your going to break yourself. You will just want to stay in bed and cry all day, believe me Ive been there it doesn't help. Just try to think positive the first couple of months will be hectic but when things start smoothing over there for them it gets better for you. I get to talk to eric almost every day.

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 1:31 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Just keep yourself busy. Write down everything you would like to accomplish while hes gone. Like I wante my kid to be potty trained, paci free, and able to name off all of his colors. Ive accomplished 2 out of 3. I know its hard to see now but just remember your husband will come home SAFE. You both will relize how much you love and need each other. The extra pay yall will get save it up, it will be a good nest egg, or one hell of a deserved vacation when he returns. Just think positive. Talk to people dont be afraid. Thousands of people are going what you are going through and talking really does help. If your shy then write in a journal. You will be fine, your husband will, your family will. JUst stay positive. Im going through our first deployment right now if you ever need to talk message me im here.

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 1:35 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Prayer and really positive thoughts will be your allies, I can only imagine the stress, but try to focus on your children, there is really not much you can do but pray and stay positive, have faith that he will come back to you. Big Hugs to you mom!!!!!!!

    Answer by older at 1:38 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • All your answers are wonderful I can't pick one to be the best answer! I'm really trying to be strong. My 5 yr old asked me what was wrong and I didn't tell her anything, but she hugs me and says its ok mom, we're a family. Like she already knew. I have my mom and dad and brother and my grandparents and my cousins and mother in law and my DH's family here not more than 4 hours away...My parents live 10 min away. So I know I'll have a support system and any help I need. But none that understand the stress of what this feels like. I've only had my husband for a year and one more before he leaves..Its just REALLY scary and tough. And of course I imagine he won't have to be out in the field, but what if he had to for some reason? That's what I keep thinking about. But thank you so much for all your support and I will make sure I keep in touch with you!

    Answer by thomasfam14 at 1:45 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • You suck it up. You write letters. You realize you made a commitment to each other AND the government. I support military wives, but the whining that he has to go and it is scary gets on my nerves. It will be tough, but you signed up for it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Your husband is stationed at Ft. Lewis? That's where my son is and he has the same MOS. He went to Iraq from 11/07-2/09 and he lleaves for Aghanistan this summer. A a mom I wrote a lot of letters and will write a lot of letters. He and his wife (who was in the Army, same MOS, but is no longer in the Army) were both stationg in Iraq at the same time an they had their laptops with them and were online just about every day. Being on a base is a bit safer though, yeah there are moments and I won't go in to them because you don't need the horror stories. Your hubby's MOS is a safer MOS than some so try not to stress too much.

    Don't watch the all. Here's a's Moms Of Soldiers but they also have groups for wives/girlfriends and ANYONE with a loved one in the military is welcomed!!


    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 2:06 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Anon, my husband is prior military, I have a son in the Army who has deployed once and is getting ready to again and I have another son who leaves for basic training in July. You DO know what they sign up for but that doesn't stop you from worrying when they go to a war zone or from missing them when they are away. My mom and sisters told me I didn't have a write to worry about my son when he was in Iraq because I LET (he was 19, there was no letting) him join. they have hinted the same in regards to my other son (who was also 19 when he signed up & he'll turn 20 a month after he leaves for basic). You do know...but when you love someone you still worry and miss them.

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 2:09 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Stay connected with others who are in a similar situation. Keep busy by talking up a hobby, exercise, reading etc.. Count down the days. Good Luck.


    Answer by Sisteract at 2:23 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • My hubby might be leaving this summer also.HE JUST GOT BACK :(
    We used Skype.he never called because Skype was free. And yahoo messenger.Its going to take him to see what other people are doing to keep in touch with family members before he gets into the groove.YOu just keep as busy as a bee and try to join in on playdates or whatever else you can.Also My hubby used his Military Starcard to buy what he needed..
    Good luck :)

    Answer by ryanlynn at 2:36 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

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