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For you Ferber method Moms!

Did you kid continue to cry every time you put them in the crib, even for the period it takes them to go to bed? I don't know if I can continue this if it doesn't ever stop (I've been doing it less than a week).


Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Apr. 27, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (10)
  • Nope, my son doesn't cry when he goes to bed anymore... it only took him 3 days and he went to bed on his own.
    We found, like suggested in his book, that the most important part of the method was a change in his routine... we made that change and it made a world of difference.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 5:36 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • What is the Ferber Method? Never heard of the term.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Cry it out, but if you go in and comfort inbetween the crying it's more of the ferber method.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • CIO is abuse. Kids will (even as babies) drift off to sleep when they feel safe, secure, and know that they are cared for. When they are neglected (CIO) they do not.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:37 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • It's not CIO. CIO is neglect. CIO is turning the monitor off and ignoring your baby's cries.

    I have Ferbered 2 children and have read the entire book. The crying will stop, but it is harder to Ferber a toddler than a baby. I Ferbered my DD at 18 months and my DS at 6.5 months. Ferbing my DD was MUCH harder. You also can shorten the intervals (Ferber says himself to do this if you have a sensitive child). This is the schedule I used: 2 min, 4 min, 7 min, 10 min, 15 min. And I held at 15 min instead of working up to 20 min. This worked for us. Remember not to pick up your toddler unless she needs to be changed or is sick, hungry, etc. On the routine checks use your voice to soothe and rub your child's back, head, etc instead of picking them up. It took 8 days to Ferber our DD. After that, bedtime was a dream.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 1:40 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Well, my DD is 12 months old. I was told to only go in and check if she continues to cry, and at the third day, her crying didn't even reach 5 minutes in intervals, but she does cry on and off. That's what I'm wondering will go away.... the crying. I'm wondering if at some point she might just 'know' that putting her in her crib means to sleep and she won't cry at all? Am I asking for too much? She goes to sleep after less then 15 minutes with little crying right now, but I'm just concerned she will always act this way!
    I started with 1 minute intervals with her... And did 1 minute intervals for like ten minutes then went up to three .. then five. Tonight I decided to start with ten minute intervals cuz I've been doing it for almost a week. And she stopped crying long before ten. ... But she was still really upset at me putting her in her crib and she still cried for me when I left :(

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Luckily with my 1st..he was just a sleepy little boy and never had a problem just laying down and conking out withing 2 minutes,lol. My sweet little Aubrey Rose :)... she was a bit of a different story,lol. She would cry when I laid her down and I would go get her and try comforting her, rocking her,playing soft music but soon as I laid her back down in the bed she would be wide eyed awake and be screaming.
    Finally I said, enough was enough. My mom bought me a tv monitor for her room so I wouldnt be chewing my nails off thinking something was wrong with her..I could see that she was just fine. It actually took 2 nights of me staying out of her room and letting her cry and I've had no problem with her laying straught down and falling to sleep on her own ever since.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:47 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Yes, my son did the CIO from 8 months on and yes, he cried everytime til he was 18 months somenights were 2 minutes, some nights were hours.. that was just how he was.. ! he's 2-1/2 and in a big boy bed and doing fantastic!! around 18 months I started actually telling him what were were going to do the next day when he woke up and things got WAY better in the crib!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • The crying will stop, yes. As far when to go in there, you need to use your mommy instinct. Sometimes the whole "continual cry" gets kind of iffy. If it is a light wimper that you know if your baby winding down, then wait and not go in. If it is a true cry, then check on her sticking to the interval schedule.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 2:00 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • It really depends on the child. DS took a few days through Ferber. DD was not a candidate for the method. She screamed herself sick within moments. We used a different sleep training method to ease her into bedtime without my shoulder as her pillow....all....night....long. ;) She was 12 months old and then again at 24 months old when we moved to a twin bed.

    And sorry OobyDoobie, I disagree completely. My son, now 7, has no ill effects and has never felt unsafe or uncared for. In fact, he's the most secure little guy you'll meet who knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's got a huge support network made up of immediate and extended family that will be there in a flash. And he's always known that. Even when we were implementing Ferber, he was a confident, well adjusted little guy who was not clingy nor neglected. It's not abuse. It's a different parenting choice.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 4:05 PM on Apr. 27, 2010