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What can I say to my 23 year old brother that broke up with his pregnant gfriend 3 days before she had the baby...and now that the baby is here he has yet to spend even ONE day with it?

Its so sad. I really feel sorry for his ex gfriend and their baby girl. The baby is now 3 months old. They were together for 6 years, engaged to be married within the last year,have been living together, both were very happy to be having the baby and out of no where, he says he doesnt love her anymore and kicks her out of the house! I am ashamed of my brother! He always seemed so level headed...even though he's young. All he does now is go out and party like a rock star just about every night now...blowing all his money. The only thing he has bought for the baby is ONE bag of diapers, thats it!

I can understand falling out of love with someone, I truly can.But to do what he doing about his baby girl..his FIRST really pissing me off. He's being a real jerk.
Our family makes sure she knows she is still family no matter what he does and she comes over to visit with the baby and stuff.What can I say to my brother


Asked by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Apr. 27, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Listen to be honest, I say continue YOU relationship with YOU niece. Your brother is a grown man and no matter what you say to him its up to him to do whatever he wants with his life even if its harmful to his kid. Obviously he is still a child. One more thing it is wrong for him to abandon that precious baby girl. But when it comes to the relationship between him and his ex, its probably both of their faults that the relationship didnt work.. Us as sisters don't know what happens behind their closed doors... Love your niece like never before .... Good luck!

    Answer by iliana90 at 1:44 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Personally, I'd tell him to be a man. What a coward.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • You can tell him anything you want. But that is not going to make him be responsible.  He has to do that on his own. Just be there for the child.


    Answer by louise2 at 1:44 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • i would do what you can for the baby be friends with his ex so she will at least know you care.....have you talked to your brother about how he is acting?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • He never loved her to begin with. He used her, but she allowed herself to be used. This is how the majority of these relationships turn out. While I feel sorry that it continues to happen, it is for the poor children who are born into these situations for whom I have the utmost compassion. Your brother had a choice. His girlfriend had a choice. This poor child had no choice and fully deserves a stable two-parent home where it can grow up feeling secure in the love of its parents for itself and for one another. This is a dreadful shame, and that's what I would tell my brother. I would further tell him that a real man does not father children and then turn his back on them and that if he doesn't want to pay, he should not play. This is not a game. The lives of children are at risk. Children need a father. They need a father who loves their mother. They need a father who is a role model for them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • No, I havent talked to him about it. I heard from him for the first time in 4 MONTHS just this last week..he called because he wanted me to talk our dad into cosigning for a 10 thousand dollar loan. I was like, I don't think so buddy. Other than when he needs or wants something, he calls none of us anymore. I think he's afraid of what we might say to him..he knows he's doing wrong to that baby.
    I guess I know in truth nothing I say would change what he has done, but in way, he has always looked up to me. He had always come to me with problems and sometimes, all he would need is for me to listen and say I understand and he would figure it out on his own.I'm big sis..10 years older than him.I was thinking of emailing him but have been too mad and I'm afraid of what I might say!! Stick a foot up his butt is what i'd like to do! lol But in the meantime..were all trying our best to stay in contact with her and the baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • If that were my brother I'd tell him "You made the choice to create a child, now make the choice to take responsibility for it. You don't have to be in a relationship with your ex, but that is your child that you're abandoning." I would just speak my peace and leave it at that. If he chooses to not take responsibility after that, then that's his right. Unfortunately. That is really great that you/your family are accepting her into your lives still. Allowing her to come around, because I'm sure she really needs that extra support. Your brother doesn't have to man up, but he should. He's a coward and a fool for abandoning his child.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:56 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • I don't know if you talking to him will help, it sounds like he is avoiding the family cause he knows he is going to get an earful. If he does call I'd tell him to stop acting like a selfish, spoiled jerk and start taking responsibility for his child! He helped create the baby, so he needs to step up and support her. I hope the mom goes after him in court for child support, cause it sounds like he is a deadbeat. I think it is GREAT that you and your family are behind the mom, and keeping close contact with her and the baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Maybe you can approach him as the concerned big sister. To suddenly change to such a party lifestyle sounds like alarm bells for possible drug abuse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • What really is there to say that other people haven't already said? It's nice that you and your family still treat her life family though....

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Apr. 27, 2010