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Will you make your kids wait til marriage before having sex?

And if so, what will you do if you find out they are having sex before marriage?

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Asked by GinNTonic at 3:05 PM on Apr. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (6,147 Credits)
Answers (161)
  • Just thinking about this the other day, my mom didn't believe in sex before marriage. However, I lost my virginity at the age of 17 and she didn't know til years later when she read it in my diary. I was never comfortable with talking to her about sex because I knew what she thought of it. I just hope I can be as open to discuss the subject with my children so they won't be so afraid to talk to me about it. I think discouraging your kids about sex is not the best approach because all they will do is sneak around and do it behind your back, instead of talking to you about it. Like I did.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 3:06 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • well, you can't MAKE them do that. And if you force the issue too much, it'll probably backfire on you. Sure, I would LIKE my kids to wait, and I will tell them why I think it's a good idea, but if they don't, then I'll probably talk to them about it, and make sure that they are being safe. I wouldn't be mad really, because hey, no one's perfect. I didn't wait. My daughter was born 3 months before I was married

    Answer by AirForceWife14 at 3:08 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • There is no way, short of locking them in the basement, to prevent it. THAT said, my kids will be well informed as to how to protect their selves, and their partners. To be responsible, and respectful.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:09 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • How are you gonna "make" then not have sex til marriage... Having strong values, religious etc.. hasn't stopped them. Being involved hasn't stopped them.. All you can do is educate them and hope they wait. Kids rebel when parents try to hard at anything... I have a 17 year old, she has waited thus far but I have no idea if she will wait til marriage.. Maybe a serious relationship will come along and change that, maybe college will.. I really don't know...

    Answer by midnightmoma at 3:09 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • you cant make your kids do anything, you can hope, preach and talk them to death, but that guarantees nothing! but no i wont tell them that just because i think that in these times, it is somewhat unreasonable! i will be more likely to ask them to wait until they are older, adults hopefully, but with all the pressures in high school and middle school even, i will be happen if they make it to 18. like the previous post, my mom wasnt comfortable talking sex with me and her words were just dont do it. i never knew anything about the emotions tied to it, the hurt that young love can cause or any of that, and i dont think i was prepared. the kids i know that waited the longest to have sex are those whose parents werent afraid to admit that waiting is hard, and actually talked with them about the causes effects and all about what snakes young boys are!

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 3:11 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • I definetly don't want my kids to wait until marriage for sex. Why should they? We are not a religion based family, and I like sex, my husbands like sex, and if my kids want to have sex i don't see why they shouldn't. of course I will teach them about birth control and emotional pull, peer pressure and the consequences of having irresponsible sex.

    Answer by Christina2135 at 3:12 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • You cannot make your kids do anything they do not want to do, I would if asked tell them my preference, but I wouldn't enforce anything that I know will be rebelled against. Actually I would rather they have sex before marriage and get to see the total package than for them to go through a marriage in the blind, and end up in divorce.

    Answer by older at 3:12 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • You can not stop them they are gonna what they are gonna do. You can just educate them and give them values and hope they make good decsions !!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Same here secondtyme

    I remember the first time I did it, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me like a month after it happened and I was devestated. I thought I wasted a beautiful moment on someone who didn't give a shit and I wish I had waited for someone who cared more about me than I did about him. But, what would growing pains be without pain?

    Answer by GinNTonic at 3:12 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • I don't think anyone should wait until they are married. You need to get some things out of your system before marriage. I had many partners and I'm glad I did.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:13 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

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