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Why is it some military men want to raise kids as if they're in the military too???

Okay ladies so I have an eight year old who is not from my husband. Although my husband loves him and would do anything for him he was raised different and he doesn't know how to be loving. His love is very hard. He feels boys should be tough and not cry. I feel the same way to a point. My husband also expects my son to be neat and to eat fast. Like hello he's eight. I'm not using excuses for my son either because I want him to learn to be neat and not to take so long to eat. I also talk to my son so he understands my husband and how he grew up but I also talk to my husband about how my son is and how he should act towards him. Help please!!!

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candydimples

Asked by candydimples at 3:26 PM on Apr. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • well you are the mother and he is the step dad. so you have every right to dictate how your child is to be raised. i always thought step parents shouldnt get involved in discipline if they can avoid it - that isnt always the case. my bff is a step mom now. her dh (kids dad) is in iraq. so she has to keep rules in her house. no other option reallly. i am a k-3 teacher and find it really sad to think of an 8 yr old being raised in a millitary style home with limits on how fast you eat --- sure make him neat but there is no value in scarfing your food like a pig... why not get dh to focus on table mannors instead of speed if he likes neatness. in education we know that speed is the last thing to come in aquiring a skill (like multiplication tables for example, the last thing to happen is speed) your boy is only going to be a kid once. make sure he doesnt lose his "childhood" to that millitary style of parenting.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:41 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • That sounds like a control issue. An 8 year old certainly CAN cry and have feelings and eat slowly if he wants to. I would insist that he be allowed to be a human being, not an Army machine,ya know?
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 3:46 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • I'm married to a Marine and we only have girls. But I know we would be facing the same issues if we had sons. Sometimes he is too strict on the girls and I remind him that we are raising well adjusted children not little Marines. LOL. He always backs off because Momma knows best!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • My dad was an Air Force man, and my siblings and I were raised "military". Yes, Dad was tough, and strict, but I think it was good for us because we learned early that routine, respect, and dicipline (sp?) made us good parents. I'm not as strict as my Dad was with my kids, but they do understand that I expect them to behave properly and there are consequences for misbehaving. My Dad loved me and my siblings more than anything, and yes, I sometimes felt like he didn't. He showed his love for us by giving us what we needed to live on our own. Thanks, Dad!
    Robsmommy

    Answer by Robsmommy at 7:00 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

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