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When Do you stop..... kinda long

I have a 3 year old daughter by a previous relationship. my husband is who she calls dad due to the fact that her father has nothing to do with her (his choice) He stoped seeing her in Dec 07 and also stoped paying child support at the same time. She has been always avaible to him and his family. I have been in and out of court trying to get him to pay child support and just be in her life (my thinking was to do right by our daughter) He has stated he cant have kids (he has another one with his wife now) And has been offered by me several times a DNA test that he has constantly refused, He moved out of state due to his job and has just drawn any court dates futher and futher along. Im not sure what to do He owes almost 12000.00 back child support plus medical. My lawyer states that he should be held accountable for the back child support... My husband thinks that he dosent owe her anything but to have a good life and a Daddy

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Apr. 27, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • Cont.....who will be in her life 100% of the time not when it fits his needs. So what do you thinkI should do.. He aggreed to termanate his rights if I stated he owed nothing (btw he brought up termanation) But almost everyone in my family except my husband states that I should keep going... what do you think I want to do whats best for my daughter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Oh, he owes you the money. You can go to court and order a DNA test then if he refuses, he can be held in contempt
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 4:12 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • I would get the DNA test the back money he owes. Then afterwards say oh yeah please sign this and then just move on with both yours and your daughters life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Adv here... True The only ONLY reason his butt is not in jail is because of his child. Now he wants visitation (hes had that from day one) But my husband dosent want him in her life at all because he fears he will show up then leave show up and leave because that is his pattern. (btw my hubby came along after he left) My husband states either way our daughter will be hurt (he would know because he had the same thing happen to him as a child.) I know in my heart that her "Father" is just stating he wants visits for me to drop everything. he lived in the same city and couldnt be bothered. I just dont know if I can do this for another 3 years...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • i say let your new husband adopt her, forget about back support and future support. just forget about him. let the three of you be the family!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 4:21 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • i would forget about the back pay and let him out of her life. If he gets forced to pay then he may visit her out of spite. If she has a dad who wants to be in her life then let her bio dad go. My atty told me it wanst worth all the drama in my dd's life over grocery money. It isn't worth all the trouble and worry. he wont be a good dad if he doesnt want to be a dad. I wouldnt let anyone adopt my dd i dont think but ithink it is great she has a step dad who loves her and cares for her.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:42 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • i feel you, im going through the same thing with my son father he does not pay child support and owes me back pay now the courts are getting him put in contempt.... i as well think if he cant pay and does not want to pay than he needs to give up all rights.... but im trying to get him to pay me pay back since myson was born....
    elias1mamma22

    Answer by elias1mamma22 at 12:36 AM on Apr. 28, 2010

  • Let this obviously amazing man adopt her and let the creep go live his scummy life. Your daugher doesn't need to be hurt over and over by this jerk for the rest of her life. It will only cause her pain and daddy issues on down the line.
    Make a big deal out of the adoption, throw a party, celebrate it every year, tell her she's extra lucky 'cause her Dad specifically chose her. Don't drag her emotions through the mud over 120000, she's way more important than that!
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 9:09 AM on Apr. 29, 2010

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