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Am I just being a naive new mother?

Growing up my brother and I were always very well behaved children. We had chores that were age appropriate and we were expected to do them. We went to church every Sunday and we were expected to sit and be quiet. I also remember my childhood being very happy and I don't remember being stressed out from the extra burden of behaving properly. I want that for my 5 month old daughter. I was talking to a group of mothers, with children that ranged from 3 years to 21 and they said "good luck" Kids today are just not like that anymore and that I am just a naive mother. What do you think?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Apr. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • Nope, not at all. You are a GOOD mother. Those that think their kids CAN'T behave.. are the one's with kids with behavioral issues. All kids can behave.. you just have to find out how to get them to want to behave.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • I will raise my daughter that same way. Now adays kids have too much leeway and not enough rules.

    Answer by hornz102485 at 4:47 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • do what works for u!

    Answer by mirit.rose at 4:48 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Your child(ren) CAN be like you and your brother were, if YOU put in the effort to raise them in that manner. The reason why "kids are different" these days is because parents don;t want to parent, the rules have become more lax, divorce rates are high, child care centers are thriving, and the family unit is fallen apart (speaking in general terms).

    I AM raising my children with "old fashioned" values. I will not succumb to the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality, or accept that "everyone else's kid does it." It's YOUR child, and YOU set the boundaries. I don;t care what other parents think of my old-fashioned child rearing....chances are, my children will turn out better than theirs! LOL

    There is NOTHING wring with respecting your elders, attending a house of worship, doing age-appropriate chores, getting a job as soon as you're old enough, learning how to save your money, going to college, etc!!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 4:51 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • While it is true that many kids are not the "yes ma'am" kids that we used to see, it has nothing to do with the year in which they were born. Aside from kids with actual medical/psychological/physical problems/disorders, the way a child behaves is 100% dependent on the parents. Yes, some kids are stubborn and hard headed...I have one of those myself. But it takes patience, consistency, and a willingness to teach your child how to behave well. Even if that means losing your CM time to putting your kid's little butt back in time-out over, and over, and over, and over again. *sighs* Don't worry, this is a hard job, but moms have been turning out good kids for centuries.

    Answer by lovemymarine306 at 4:51 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Not at all. I don't think children have changed ANY I think parents have. For some reason they have all been brainwashed into expecting less of their child. I think parents that think like that are sad. Always expect the best from your children. You are not naive at all. Congrats of having standards for behavior that your children will learn to follow. It seems like parents like you are few and far between.

    Answer by laciD at 4:53 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Depends what she grows up like and what kinda personality she has (she has yours and also your hubbies) i was a good little kid and my kiddo is 20X smarter than me but a little more on the wild side..hes a kid he isnt perfect and just because he cant sit some where for 20 minutes doesnt mean he has behavioral issues,im not gonna drug him because he is not anything like me.Teach her how to act,but dont expect same personality just because you were a certain way.

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 4:54 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • It is possible. Children can behave in all situations. Do chores without arguing, as long as they know they are loved. Now there will be a day or two when they are stressed and have a bad day just like us. So they just don't feel like being good. That's when creative parenting comes in. Each child reacts to things differently.


    Answer by oldermomof5 at 4:54 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • No, it makes you an aware mother, I agree with laciD, parents are the ones that have changed. They live in this hurried world anxious to make money so they can have and have, but neglect to see that in the process they loose, loose. Children need structure and routines and rules, love and being so busy acquiring money for material things kids get thrown in the back burner.

    Answer by older at 5:51 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

  • Um, no. I am the same way as you. In fact that is funny that you mention church. We went to church with our 2 year old son last week and there were 3 little kids running around the back of the church and running up the aisles during the service. My son of course saw this and tried to join in and we promptly sat him down and said no etc.... What other people do is their thing but I am strict with my son and I personally think more parents should be. If he really wanted to run around that bad I would have taken him outside. The people that tell you you can't parent that way are probably not very strict and aren't aware that YOU the parent are in charge. I'm sure you'll show all of them in a couple years when you have a well behaved child and theirs is running wild.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Apr. 27, 2010

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